(Name) goes to McDonald's at 5am.

Shit its the pedo clown

Oh fuck, nagito is dead.

The og Taco Bell self insert crackfic husband. It's a mouthful I know, but you can't deny it.

I consider tearing up before I remember the note I have in my hand, and how I have a mission to save my sexy buff friend fried Nougat, the whole reason I came here in the first place.

I flush nagitoe down the toilet and open up the note.

Dear Yee Haw Nihilist,

As you probably have been told numerous times, there's some shit going down with me eating a fry and shit before hisoka the pedo clown to save the world and yada yada. But Saiki and I put that shit on hold, we had to stop by Forever 21 to get some cute ass cardigans and make a tik tok cause we just met Charli Damelio. Sorry bestie, but you're gonna have to hold your own on that slut for a bit.

Keep his ass distracted for abt twenty minutes and I'll give you a smooch.

- Fried Nougat

Damn well my ass wasn't gonna do that shit if it wasn't for the possibility of getting smooches by my hot best friend soooo

I break the door to the bathroom down and walk back to where the waifus are.

"Suit up gang," I say, grabbing some fries, "the pedo is coming."

"Yo yo you, wait what?" Chika asked, understandably confused.

But I didn't have time to answer, because hisoka crashed through the window sending shards of glass directly into Chika's head.

"Oh fuck" I say in all lowercase and run over to help her ass.

But it's too late.

She's dead.

Jesus, the deaths in this book get gorier by the minute. Next thing you know Hisoka is gonna get his crusty bungee gum trapped in Zero Twos armpit hair and rip it all out so fast she loses her eyesight.

"Ajeejfmdndj FUCK my eyes!"

God damn it.

That leaves me, Nobara, Monika, Misa, and Haruhi.

Four very obviously heterosexual girls to defeat a pedophile pennywise?

Damn this is gonna make a damn good tumblr post.