~Bumblebees and Butterflies~ || Love, Victor ||

Chapter four: Confusion

Victor's POV

I wake up a little later than I wanted to, meaning I have to quickly get dressed. I went for something simple, black jeans, a graphic tee which I know I'll have to change anyway, with my black slip-on Vans. The only one up is my mom, who's having a cup of tea when I come out. She greets me good morning and asks what I'm doing up so early.
"I start my job today."
"Mejo that's amazing! I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, Mami."

It's 8:30 when I leave, giving me more than enough time to be there for 9. I have a longer shift today, which didn't bother me much.

I walk into a nearly empty shop, with a few people that are drinking their cups of coffee reading the newspaper or glued to their phones. Benji is whipping down the counter, he looks up and flashes a smile. His teeth perfectly white, and his lips looking incredibly soft. There's something about him that's so capturing.
Stop getting distracted.
"Victor hey! How are you?"
"Hey! A little nervous but good." I let out out a small laugh, he laughs with me. "Don't worry about it too much, you'll do great."
"I hope so." I smile awkwardly thinking back to the last time I was here.
"Come on back then!"
He lets me through and leads me into the back room.
"This is where more of our stock goes, It's organized and quite easy to navigate. Past here we have the staff room" we walk past the stock into a small-ish space. There's a row of lockers on one side and a row of coat hooks on the other with a long bench below the hooks, and a shelf above. It was a neat little space. Benji smiles and looks at me for a moment before continuing "there aren't assigned lockers, so you can use any of them."
He reaches up and grabs one of the boxes on the top shelf, having to go on his tiptoes. He's a smidge shorter than me, just barely needing to tiptoe in the first place. He pulls it down and opens it, grabbing a couple light gray Brasstown shirts.
Smart place to put them. 
"Here's your shirts, the door to the left is a bathroom which you can change in. The one to the right is Sarah's office. When you're ready we can start on learning the ropes."
All I can say is "Thanks." while trying to process all the new information.
"Yea no problem!" He smiles and walks out of the room to go serve customers.
I take off my coat and hang it up, I stash one of the shirts in a locker and then go to the bathroom to quickly change. Once I'm changed I come out to the main space. Benji gives me a rundown of where everything is and then shows me how to make a cup of coffee, this time goes a lot better, however. Nothing spilled and I did all the steps proficiently. Benji was right about it being easy once knowing what needs to be done.

By the time lunch rush hit I was able to make the more fancy drinks, there was a surprising number of young adults who came in and wanted drinks that made no sense to me. Still, I pulled through. When there were no more customers Benji sighed in relief, then turned to me. "Impressive. I wasn't this good on my first day." He smiles and soon I am too. "Yea you were right about it being easy. I never knew how enjoyable making coffee would be."
"I was the same! I think what makes it so fun is the versatility of coffee. It can be simple, complex, and everything in between."
There was something so captivating about him when he was talking, I felt drawn to him.
I say "It's definitely an art form."  and his eyes sparkle a bit, it looks as though not many people have agreed with him on the topic.
"It is!" We laugh a bit and get back to work, I decided on restocking things we were low on while Benji did a wipe down of the shop.

The rest of the day went by quickly. I relaxed into the work throughout the day, and spending time with Benji was great. He's been extremely patient and has a great sense of humour. I was feeling better about hanging around him more, though I still felt a small tug of worry in the back of my mind. I paid no attention to it and instead started end-of-day clean-up.
As I was whipping down tables Benji Walks to turn the open sign off and lock the door. As he does he says "You did really well today, you're a natural."
"Thanks, it was fun! Though, it turns out 'easy listening' isn't easy to listen to all day."
Benji laughs "I know right, it's all so repetitive." He pauses for a second before saying "Since we're closed we can connect your phone to the speakers if you want."
"Haha. sounds good" I handed him my phone so he could choose something and while he's scrolling he looks up at me and says "Baby shark is your most listened to song?"
"I play it for my little brother!" I pause "And I might find the predictability soothing" I laughed nervously wondering how Benji will react.
He puts his hands up in a playful defeat "Fair enough!'' He chooses one of my pop playlists, I like to sort my music based on Genre so I can make a collection of the best songs in that type of music. Call Me Maybe came on and I hear Benji laugh. "What!?" He simply says "Nothing! It's a jam of a song." I laugh "Oh, I know. I was obsessed with it when I was a little, I had this whole dance and everything." Benji raises his eyebrows "Well let's see it!" I look at him "See what?" he's looking right back "Your dance! Come on!" I cringe.
Now that is not happening.
"A-all I remember is it involved a lot of spinning and... rump-shaking." I laugh awkwardly and Benji smirks slightly "Oh like this?" he starts doing an adorable little dance and I laugh "No no no no. Like this, you gotta but more rump in it." I can't believe I'm doing this. I shake my hips back and forth while adding a little finesse, Benji laughs a little "Oh I need to add more rump? Okay." He joins with similar moves "Yeah like that" We both laugh and we're soon full-on dancing.
Afterwards, we clean in comfortable silence until Benji cuts through the random thoughts swirling around my head. "So, how do you like it here?" 
"It takes some getting used to. But I really like it here." I smile a little.
He responds "Yeah, I get that. It was the same when I first started at Creekwood." I can tell there's a little hesitation in his voice when he asks "Do you you think you'll find your soulmate here?"
"I'm not sure. I do feel more confident finding mine here than I did in Texas. There wasn't much space to move around there."
"Well, I'm glad that you moved here." He smiles while looking at me and I just look back at him. He's so easy to talk to, and his eyes just pull you in...
What is it about him that makes me feel so connected to him?
I smile "I am too." After a minute I ask "Have you found yours?"
He looks down. "Not to my knowledge no. I thought I had a while back but I found out he was lying about me being his soulmate."
"That's pretty shitty."
"Yeah, it is."

We finish closing and bid goodnight. I get lost in my thoughts on the way home. I hitch on the ones about Benji. It's been getting harder to draw a conclusion about my feelings toward him.
Do I find him to be a good friend? Or is it something else I'm not noticing...

I don't get much sleep that night.

***
I woke up way too early and wasn't able to go back to sleep, I ended up reading for the book assignment I had in English. We had to choose a fantasy novel and I went for The Hobbit. Most kids went for Harry Potter but I thought Hobbits, Dwarfs and adventure went better together than a  wizard magic trope. I made quite the dent in the book, and when it came time to leave for school I was ahead of the assignment.

Nobody was very talkative this morning. I try not to think too much about it. Guess it's that time again. Every once in a while my entire family goes quiet, I'm not sure why but it acts as a reset. Have we been off lately? After a little more thought it hits me. We have. Mom and Dad were disagreeing more often and Pilar has been more emotional. I grab a quick breakfast and head out to meet Felix outside.
"Hey man! Ready to go?"
"Hey! Yes let's go"
With that, we get our mourning coffee and head to school.

***

In science, we had to be partnered up and I got paired with one of the girls I met last week, Mia. She sits down and then starts a polite conversation.
"Hey Victor! How are you?"
"Mia, hey! I'm doing okay. How are you!?"
"I'm fine, things are a bit crazy lately"
Sarcastically I say "Sounds fun" She returns the sarcasm "Oh definitely"
We both laugh and then work on our science project. She was extremely easy to work with and engaging to be around.
As class was ending, Mia ask me "Um, would you like to hang out sometime?"
"Uh, yea I would." I smile at her and she smiles back.
"Cool, here I'll write down my number..." She grabs a spare piece of paper, writes her number on it, and hands it to me.
"Thanks, I'll text you!"
"Okay!" She blushes and heads off to her next class. Conflicted, I do the same, Hanging out with her sounds great and I'm looking forward to it. But what does this mean? Will it be a friendly hangout or a date? I can't tell which one I'd rather have. I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Felix walk up behind me. "Dude! What's up with you and Mia? I overheard that you guys are gonna hang out."
"We are, probably sometime this week."
"That's amazing!! How do you feel about it?"
"I'm excited, I want to see where it goes"
"Good luck with it" Felix winks and runs off.
I laugh, What a weirdo.

***

Work was quite busy, there wasn't much time to have a proper conversation with  Benji which I was oddly eager about doing. Despite spending so little time with him I feel relaxed and drawn to him. When the door is locked and the sign is off I hear Benji sigh in relief. "Finally!"
He seemed a little stiff today so I ask "Hey, you doing okay?"
He takes a minute to respond "Well mostly, I kinda have a lot going on right now and it's been hard."
I feel a twinge of sadness at the thought of him hurting "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Um, a little yeah..."
"I'm listening". He leaned on the counter and I stood comfortably against the same one on the other side. He looks up at me and I give him a Sympathetic smile. 
"When I came out, a lot of people didn't like it. I was never in any real danger but there were a couple times it got close. I had to learn that being comfortable in myself was enough." He pauses and breathes for a minute. "It took me a while to feel comfortable. Once you do you still have a long way to go."
"It's still hard for you isn't it?"
"Uh, yeah. That's the thing with insecurities. You can be the most confident person in the room and yet there are days where it's just not there."
"I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. People suck. And for the record, I think who you are is pretty great." Benji looks caught off guard by the last sentence. Flustered, he says "Thanks, that means a lot." I smile and respond "You're welcome, I always here if you need me."
"I'll take you up on that." He laughs a little and relaxes. For the rest of closing, he seems considerably lighter. I can't help but smile, knowing I made him feel just a little better. Hearing him talk about being insecure helped me understand him better, which I was thankful for.
When we're done and locked out, Benji says "Hey, uh thanks again for listening. You're like- so easy to talk to."
I blush slightly at the compliment, He's so sweet. "You're welcome, I'm glad I could help."
He smiles and for a split second, I see blush across his cheeks.
"Goodnight Victor."
"Goodnight Benji."

A/N
Been a sec since I posted lol, I hope you enjoy the story so far!! I'm for sure liking it.  Any feedback is appreciated! Don't be a silent reader!
Hope you're having a good day :)
~Lee