Feitan headcanons + oneshots

Pregnant s/o

It was a quiet Sunday evening. Your boyfriend, Feitan, sat in the middle of the couch while your body laid against the arm of the sofa with your legs on top of him. You were snuggled in the fuzzy blanket that wrapped over your body, staring out at the T.V. while watching the movie Feitan picked out for the two of you. As much as you wanted to focus on what was playing, your nervous thoughts circled around one important thing that stuck on your mind. You had to tell him, or else the thought would just eat you up even more. Plus, seeing how calm Feitan was at this moment made it the perfect time.
"What's wrong?" you heard your boyfriend say, snapping you out of your circling thoughts. You weren't surprised that Feitan would eventually notice that you were acting different, he could practically read you like a book. You looked over to him, immediately noticing that famous icy glare piercing right through you. With those eyes, it'd be almost impossible to try and hide anything from him.
Now that your obvious distress caught Feitan's attention, you decided that now was the time to tell him the big news. You clamped your hands together as you started to fidget with them, while turning your eyes away from him. A nervous feeling started to build up throughout your body.
"Uh.. Fei, I have something important to tell you." Your voice was only projecting to yourself rather than trying to speak directly to him. During this very moment, more thoughts came flooding to your brain, now contemplating how you were going to tell him the news. Should you just fully blurt it out, or would it be better to try sugarcoat it?
You could always just play it off and pretend like it was nothing, but you knew that not in a million years would Feitan fall for that.
From the corners of your eyes, you could tell that this caught his attention. He grabbed the remote next to him and paused the movie, "And what is it?" Feitan asked while his head tilted a little. The feeling of worry began to rush through you, causing your heart to pound. As hesitant as you were, you couldn't go back from telling him now.
"Well.. Feitan," you began, "I'm pregnant."
Your admission was the climax to your fear. Even though you felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, the reaction of your boyfriend had you at the edge of your seat. You briefly noticed the look on his face, widened eyes and raised eyebrows looking straight at you. Apart from shocked, trying to analyze the emotions of how Feitan was truly feeling at the moment were hard to pinpoint.
"Uh, Fei... how do you feel?" The answer was obvious, but you still wanted at least some kind of reaction from him. Feitan looked down away from your eyes and although his face relaxed, that still didn't shake off that obvious look of confusion.
He quietly sighed, "I... don't know."
After hearing those words mutter out of him, your heart sank into your chest. That comfortable environment you two had from earlier was now replaced with awkward tension. You were well aware that big news like this could give someone mixed emotions, so you just had to reassure yourself that this reaction was to be expected. But the thought lingered at the back of your mind, what was going to happen after this moment?
After exchanging a few moments of silence, Feitan blurted something "I won't be a good dad," he said, "And, the kid won't like me". You furrowed your brows, not expecting he'd say something like that.
"What do you mean, Fei?" You took a good look last his face. His eyes turned much softer, and stood down at himself. That previous look of shock completely vanished, and turned into this state of worry and confusion.
"______. I'm not a good person. You know this." There was a grave tone in his voice. You always knew Feitan as your fearless lover, but right now seeing in this moment, you could tell that his voice shown hints of genuine worry. "You and the kid might be in danger."
You sighed down at yourself. Well, Feitan didn't sound like he was fully resenting the idea, right?
You tried to shift from that topic with something else you've always thought of, "Have you ever thought about the idea of a kid before?"
He paused for a second before answering, "No. I haven't."
"I see. Now I know you haven't had much time to think about this, so this question might be a little abrupt, but.. how do you feel... about having a kid?" Your voice started to falter at the last part, being nervous to hear about what he was going to say. Feitan looked down at himself, seeming deep in thought as he tried to process the question. It took him a while before finally speaking up.
"Well, I'm not opposed to it."

You slightly winced at his words, not expecting that to be his reaction. In all honesty, you never knew where his head was at regarding this topic, and you usually assumed that he'd be against having a kid.
"What's with the strange look?" Feitan asked with a serious tone, furrowing his brows.
You responded with a relieved smile, "I don't know, I just thought that you'd be against the idea!"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well.. You know.. You just seem a little- never mind. But, I do want to know, what makes you want to consider the idea?"
Feitan looked down at himself again, while you shift the position on the couch to get a better look at him. "I like the idea of having a little me," he responded. If you looked closed enough, you could see the unnoticeable smile that appeared on his face. "And, I could teach it new things, too."
"It?"
"The kid.. I could teach the kid new things." You giggled at his correction, then shifted over on the couch so that you could sit next to him. There was a soft look in your eyes and a placid smile on your face. You were happy, but mostly relieved, to know that your boyfriend's reaction was the complete opposite of what you feared. "Can I continue playing the movie, now?" he asked reaching for the remote. You nodded at him, pleased to know that the atmosphere in the room alleviated from its previous tension.
As the movie played out in the background, you became lost in your thoughts again. You had to admit that part of you felt nervous, having this fear in the back of your mind that focused only on the unknown. What if Feitan changed his mind? What if you were a bad parent? What if the kid didn't like you? Even though these thoughts stuck to the back of your brain, the excitement you were facing right now when thinking about the future outweighed all the negatives. Looking over to his direction, you saw the sight of Feitan softly smiling while watching the movie, making your heart swell.
It wasn't a shock to say that your boyfriend hid his emotions well, but as of right now, you could tell that Feitan, too, felt the same way.