The Badass Nerd

Walk of Shame and Badass Outfit

The ride back home was silent and not those comfortable silences I crave; no, this was soul drenching, torturous silence that screamed of being ended. I kept glancing at Carter but through the whole ride, he didn't look at me and I know that because I could feel when someone looks at me; I could feel the heat of someone's stare and I didn't get any. Even Mark and Emma noticed that something was wrong but they kept silent. It was uncomfortable for them but they didn't poke him, neither did I. It was evident he was thinking something and with the fact that we didn't speak at all, I am guessing I was the guilty party in his thoughts. My mind went to overthinking mode and I started guessing every possible bad thing I did and my radar stopped at one particular thing; the conversation I had with him last night when I told him I didn't want to date right now. I like him and I know he likes me too but I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to look back to this day and think that just because I couldn't wait to sort my feeling out, I made a bad decision. If that happens, I won't just hurt myself but I will hurt Carter as well. When Carter pulled at Emma's place, Mark got out as well. He said he had some work with her but it was pretty obvious that he was trying to escape the awkward situation. I don't blame him, I would have done the same thing. When Carter pulled at my place, I got out but he stayed in his seat looking ahead. I got out and sighed in exasperation.

"Carter, is everything okay?" I asked obviously knowing the truth. He hummed in response and I sighed. I guess, I am not getting anything out of him today. I turned around and started walking towards my house but about halfway through I heard his voice.
"WAIT!" He said and I looked around to see he was getting out of the car. He jogged towards me and stopped when he was close.
"Yeah?" I asked and he looked at me with a blank face.
"I want to take you somewhere. Tomorrow evening after school." He said without any hint of question.
"Carter, I told you already I don't..."
"No, I am not asking you out. I just want to take you somewhere." He said with a blank face. He hides his emotions pretty well because right now, I have no idea what is going on in his head. 
"Can you promise that you will not have this stone cold stature tomorrow?" I asked him and his face cracked into a small smile.
"Yeah, I promise." He said and I smiled at him.
"Sure then." I said and he went back to his car. I looked at him and just as he was about to get in his seat, he stopped and looked at me.
"Oh and one other thing, keep your bike ready." He said and took off. I frowned at him last comment. It was strange for him to ask me to drive but I guess changes are good. I didn't mind. Besides I am a pretty good driver. I went in and my mom was standing right at the door with obvious questions in her head.

"Walk of shame?" She asked and I just shook my head in disappointment. Which mother wants her daughter to have sex?
"Oh come one! Not yet!? At least tell me you kissed him." She shouted while I was walking up the stairs.
"MOM! NO!" I said and I heard her make a tch sound. I sighed and went in my room. My mom is absolute crack head but I love her anyway. I went to my room and lazily kept all the things on my bed. I lied down looking at the roof thinking about this weekend. It was fun and I met all these new people plus I had such an amazing time with my friends but I was sad for some reason. Maybe because Carter was upset, maybe because I didn't know what he was thinking. I hate the fact that my life started revolving around him and I hate the fact that just because he was sour mood put me in the same mood as well. It was enough for me to forget about all the fun I had and just keep thinking about him. This is exactly the reason why I don't want to date right now. I don't like that I am keeping someone else above me, even if it is subconsciously. 

I sighed and went inside my bathroom to take a quick shower. We left a little late so it was dinner time and I was starving. I changed into comfortable clothes and went down. I was glad that mom took care of dinner today as I was in no mood to cook. I was in no mood to do anything for that matter. She put my part on my plate and I ate it without paying much attention.