The Badass Nerd

Drinks and Balls

Carter and I didn't talk for the next few weeks, maybe because of the fight we had or more importantly because he was suspended for a week. Apparently the guy he was beating suffered noticeable injuries. If Carter gets into any more trouble, he might have to change his school. I wanted to forgive him and ask him how he is doing but the way he spoke to me refrained me from doing so. I know whatever he said, he didn't mean them but that doesn't mean I can just erase it. I don't know what he was going through but that's not a free pass for him to go around treating people like shit.

He didn't apologize to me nor did I. Whatever I said might not have been entirely true but he crossed the line when he bought my dad into the fight and he knows that. When he came back to school after his suspension, he didn't get into any more fights or hooked up with any other girl. Atleast from school. We had many many many awkward encounters in the hallway but we never talked once. We didn't even glance at each other.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. It's not like we are close friends or anything but whenever he used to come by at any random time, I liked it. I missed his smile and his carefree laugh. It was enough to lighten up my mood. His goofy nature and stupid flirts found their way to my heart and it pained me to see him so far away. I still stare at him when he laughing about something a random girl said and even though I hated the fact that I was not the one making him laugh, his lit up face was enough to shrug the feeling away.

When I came back home after the fight that day, I went straight up to my room and slammed the door. My mom knew something was wrong but I didn't want to talk about it. For few days after the incident, my mom was curious about happened that got me into such a foul mood but when she realized I was nowhere close to opening up, she let it go. She knows I will tell her when the time is right. I didn't tell her because every time I tried, Carter's voice echoed in my head. Maybe I was the reason my dad is not here with me anymore but that wasn't a bad thing. My dad was an asshole and I wanted him to leave. But I didn't know what my mom thought. After the incident, mom and I never talked about dad. I didn't know how she feels about it and it always bugged me. I wanted to know her thoughts but she never told me and I never asked her about it. Even if she doesn't miss dad, she did like my sister. She is the older one and we were always together. She taught me many things and always cared for me. When she left, I cried for days. It wasn't like we didn't meet at all. We did, we talked all the time but it just wasn't enough. The mirage of family that we have been keeping up for so long shattered in a few seconds. I know she missed me too but our conditions aren't feasible for us to meet. She made her choices and I made mine.

My fight with Carter remained talk of week for many weeks. People kept talking about us, spreading rumors, I am guessing. Some came up to congratulate me for standing up to him and I politely smiled at them. Others hated me for the same reason and I rolled my eyes at them. I spent most of my time either working on my project in library or my room or I went to the football stadium after school to meet Mark. Since the football game is in a month, they have been practicing their ass off this season. Although we did beat the wolves before, we have heard that have been improving at en exponential rate. They won many championships last summer and their new captain, Ethan, is pretty good. I hardly watch football but I go there anyway for Emma. She loves football and recently, she had been giving attention to the captain of our team. Emma and Mark have gotten closer in the last few weeks and they are almost always together. They look really cute and I am very happy for them. Though it meant that my time in the bakery felt rather alone. I missed Mark but I can't be selfish with him or Emma. Ashley and Noah are 'banging' as she told me last week and we all cringed. She wanted to tell us more details but we all zoned her out. Good to know that our friend us happy but details would be rather unpleasant. Mia remained a mystery to all of us. We poked her millions of times to ask her if she liked any of the guys or if she talked to anyone of them. We could never figure her out. Sofia spent most of her time in the library and cheerleading practice. Sofia was pretty good in her team and since the football match is so close, they have been putting extra effort and time into it.