𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 | 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬

its only love •J.L•

John's pov

I couldn't do it.

I know I love Lucy and I know I wanted to do this but. . . I was just so scared. Usually, she could remove any doubt in my mind or remove any worries from my mind but not even she could help me here. Laying beside me she looked so peaceful, golden slumbers filling her eyes.

I wish I could sleep but until next Tuesday came there was no way I was getting a wink. The wind blew through the open balcony, causing the curtains to blow up and fly like crazy. With a huff I swung my legs from the mattress, quietly planting my feet on the floor to get up and close the balcony doors. Thankfully for me the breeze was cool, settling my mind for a moment longer than sleeping would so I stood for a while; taking deep breaths as I held the railings deep in thought.

Out of the blue, a pair of hands snake around from my waist to my chest; hands resting on my shoulders. "Come back to bed, honey" Lucy mumbled, voice thick with sleep as she rested her head on my back. I swear I could stay like this forever and i would die a happy man; no worries of the future in my brain.

Of our future. . .

"Cant sleep" I replied, simply but alas Lucy knew me better than anyone else in the universe; instantly sensing something was bothering me. "What's up?" she asked.

I stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. What if I accidentally let it slip? I couldn't possibly allow that. This was supposed to be one of the biggest moments of our life together; other than the lives we'd create one day. Another thing I was looking forward too but was scared as fuck about.

"Love, you know you can talk to me, right?" she spoke softly, shuffling her feet to stand in front of me yet involuntarily I looked away. That is until her soft yet cold fingers were placed on both sides of my face, gently moving my head so I could look at the love of my life who stood like an angel before me.

"I love you, John Winston Lennon" she smiled and ,although I hate to get all lovey-dovey on you lot, I swear in that moment I wish I could take a mental picture to treasure forever.

Click.

As simple as that. Although it wasnt, was it? Because with those 3 words sitting front row seats at the front of my mind as if my life were a movie, I couldn't help but rethink of the one thing that bothered me most. The truth.

"I love you more" I smiled back, pressing my forehead against hers. Then she smirked. Not the sexual kind of smirk that always got moments heated but the kind where she had just got one of her ' mind blowing ' ideas.

"Please tell me your idea is acctually good this time" I said, face dead serious though she knew I was joking.

"Mr. Lennon! My ideas are always perfect thankyou very much" she squinted her baby blue eyes at me, a smirk still painting her face as she tried her hardest to conceal a laugh.

"Go on then" I encouraged her. "Why don't I read to you! Mum always used to read to me and I was out like a light" she laughed, eyes lighting up with memories of her Mother.

Lucy's Mother left her when she was 12, abandoning her at her grandmother's door to be raised by failing hopes and desires of a happy family. Her grandmother died when Lucy turned 16, being Lucy's worst birthday and each future one even worse.

"Only if you want to" I smiled at her. She smiled back, taking my larger hand in her petite one as she led me to the bed. "I'll go get it" she spoke.

As she stepped out of the room to go get the book, Alice in wonderland, I fell back on the bed only more caught up in my thoughts. Would she want to be with me for the rest of her life? Someone who has to be read a book to sleep even when I'm an adult? God, I hate having thoughts.