A girl with a big heart and so much emotional damage moves to a small town with her foster parent. She hopes that this can be a new start, but then she meets a boy who will either help her fight the demons of her past or become one of her demons him...
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I follow after Ryder as he walks down the hallway away from us. "Wait Ryder what's wrong?" I shout as i reach out and grab his wrist. He turns to face me with hurt in his eyes. "Do you really want to know what's wrong stella?" He shouts at me I flinch away at his aggressiveness.
I nod my head because I really do want to know why he is angry at me. He paces back and forth in front of me while he runs his hand through his blonde hair. "Caleb,he gets every girl he wants, he can walk down the hallway and have them pining after him but when I walked up to you for the first time I seen that you weren't chasing after him like everyone else. I thought for once in my life maybe I would be able to get the girl at least maybe have a chance" he scoffs while his voice breaking on certain words.
I stare at him with wide eyes not knowing what to say. I feel bad that he feels this way, but I really really like Caleb. Don't get me wrong I like Ryder too but as friend. Not the way I like Caleb. I don't want to break up our friend group because I might have feelings for Caleb.
"I can't just not be with him Ryder" I say as I feel my eyes pool with tears. "But you can stella, you can just tell him you don't want to be with him" he says as he stops walking and faces me. "No I can't......I think I-i love him" I stutter out as i put my hands on my face. I look at him to see his furrowed eyebrows and the hurt he once had on his face now replaced with confusion.
"Yo-you love hi-him?" He asks sputtering out the words. He walks closer to me stopping inches away. I nod my head hesitantly, he surprises me by wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head in the crook of my neck. I'm frozen i don't know what to do. I just wrap my arms around him and stand in silence. The only thing I can hear is his heavy breathing.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted that way...you deserve to be happy and so does he" he mumbles into my neck. I feel bad for him his shoulders shake as he lets out tiny sobs only i can hear. He calms down a little and takes a step away from me using his arm to wipe away the tears running down his face.
"You deserve to be happy too Ryder. I can help you find someone" I say with a smile while looking at his teary eyes. He nods his head while cracking a little smile. "Yeah.....you can be my wing woman" the bell rings through the halls as students file in around us.
___________
I'm sitting in my last class of the day and my mind drifts away from what the teacher is saying and to the kiss between me and caleb. His lips on mine while our tongues played for dominance. The look in his eyes when he realized I regretted not kissing him last night is imprinted in my brain. A hand lands on my shoulder bringing me out of whatever trance I was in. I look up to see Caleb there staring at me.
Me,him and Ryder are all riding together as normal. Caleb didn't hear the conversation between me and Ryder thank God because I kinda confessed my love for him. I explained to him why Ryder acted the way he did and he understood. We drop Ryder off first and start the journey towards my house.
"So should we talk about the kiss?" I ask as I turn towards him. He turns on my street and parks infront of my house. He turns towards me and looks at his lap rubbing the back of his neck. "So I don't want to start anything with you if it is going to involve feelings! I don't do the whole girlfriend thing!" He says while avoiding my eyes.
"Oh" I say feeling a little disappointed. "Well...we can just mess around if you want to?" I ask rubbing my sweaty palms on my pants. "Yeah if that's what you want!" His face lights up a little at the idea. I want to do it but I can't deny that I also want the other part. The mushy dates to the movies and the goodnight text messages.
I nod my head swollwing the growing lump in my throat. "OK" he let's out a relived sigh while leaning his head against the head rest. "Well I will see you tomorrow" I smile as I get out of the car. I walk towards the house feeling bile rising in my throat.
The thought of Caleb only wanting me for sex makes my stomach turn. I said I loved him today and he just wants me to be a replacement for his right hand. I enter through the front door seeing Molly stand at the kitchen counter. I feel the hot tears well in my eyes as I make my way upstairs shutting my door behind me.
I throw my bag on the floor while letting a small sob escape my lips. I lay on my bed while burying my face in my pillow. The tears falling from my eyes make puddles on the fabric. I really feel that I love him but maybe it's in a friend way so it can't really be considered feelings. I lay there on the bed letting my thoughts take over. The darkness swallowing me whole.
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Fuck fuck fuck you stupid fucking asshole what the hell is wrong with you? I drive in the direction of my house while angry at myself. Why didn't I tell her I think I love her instead of just asking for sex? I should have just told her.
When the words were on the tip of my tongue I forced them back. I was scared she wouldn't feel the same. But now I'm even more scared that she thinks I'm using her. I don't want her to think I just use people.
