Shrek x Barry B benson

🏳️‍🌈Chapter 5~ Blue Balls🏳️‍🌈

Barry B bensons POV:

I have been holding back quite a bit lately

Shrek hasn't wanted to fuck his daddy in a long time.

I find it unbelievable how someone as shrexy as him could reject a shlong as thicc and juicy as mine! 

THANKS TO HIM, I NOW HAVE FUCKING BLUE BALLS!

That fucking retard has now forced me to go into a gay bar and cheat on him! At least the alcohol tastes nice. I have only been to the gay bar once and I got so drunk that I had a heart attack!

Shrek was on the tattered sofa watching rugby. He tried to shove 15 nachos into his mouth however, only 11 and a half nachos  made it into his mouth. The rest simply slid into the gaps in the sofa.

He's such an adorable little pig, but my cock has the priority. I want to fuck AND I WANT TO FUCK NOW. I DON'T CARE IF IT MEANS I HAVE TO CHEAT!

I pulled on my old tattered patchwork farmers trousers and coat on. I then snuck away whilst my boyfriend was distracted.

My neighbours unicycle was sitting outside unguarded and it was a foggy night. Nobody would notice if I borrowed it for a quick spin.

I hoped onto the unicycle and started to go off tho the gay bar. I was not an inexperienced unicyclist because I used to work as a part-time clown in the Crustvill-grande-cirque-de-freeque.

I crashed into the front door of the gay bar with my unicycle and  the glass door burst shattered to smithereens . I fell to the floor and the singular wheel of my stolen unicycle stopped spinning. My head ached, probably because I didn't have a helmet. I lay there, silent in a pool of my own blood....... then I started screaming and flailing my arms around like a mad man .

Everything went blurry and let out a last sting of profanities before I eventually fainted.

The next day I woke up in an unfamiliar room. There was a single flickering light bulb that shined a comforting piss-yellow. I sat up and I found myself to be in a rough dinosaur bed. I looked down and suddenly noticed a massive human sized cock-roach.

Soon after screaming my lungs out for the second time, I realised that It was a hairy middle aged man sleeping on the floor. It was not a cock-roach, but he defiantly had a tiny cock.

He woke up and gave me a mischievous grin. The mysterious man let out a massive fart and proceeded to say "PPWWWWOOOOOHHHHHHH that was an epic ripper, maybe even the best one I have done so far!!".

I asked the man for his name and he simply said "My name is lord farquad but you can call me farq-senpai or  daddy". Im not very good at reading personalities , but it was clear that he was one hell of a sussy baka.

I blushed and then asked for my clothes. Luckily lord farquad only striped me down to my underwear. 

Lord farquad nodded over to the far corner of the room to where a bag filled with my clothes was. It was barely visible under  a massive pile of dank lingerie. I thought to my self "Ah so he's the naughty type!"

Lord farquad seemed to be a nice person, so I left a sticky note with my contact details on his mouldy  fridge. 

I took my bag and left his house, forgetting to put my clothes on. I had my red Mario pants on, mostly because, my annoying bastard of a son FORCED me to! 

I called a taxi to get me home and there was a stylish woman driving it. She winked at me and gave me a seductive smile. I opened the door on her side. 

The taxi woman bent in for a long, intimate kiss. I punched her ugly ass face to a pulp. I threw her out of the taxi and into a ditch.

That little bitch wasn't worth my time or effort. I forcefully ripped out the taxi keys from the taxi drivers bra.

I drove my highjacked taxi into my garage, gave the taxi a fresh paint job and changed the numberplate. Nobody would notice a thing.

When I went inside I found Shrek soundly sleeping on the floor like a baby goose. I hate geese so I kicked him.... and then fucked his unconscious body.

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My hatred for geese started a long time a go , about 23 years ago, on a cold summer day...... It was -3.7 C° to be precise. 

My dad had just split up with my mum. We went in a park together to soothe our sadness. I sat down with my dad and fed the ducks. 

A goose named bob came up to my dad and pulled at his trouser leg  and ripped a part off. The goose was obviously hungry. My fucker of a dad tried to sacrifice my flesh and bones but that wouldn't suffice. THE GOOSE WANTED MORE THAN A MEERE 5 YEAR OLD BUMBLE BEE.  

The goose called for all of his goose friends and all together, they managed to drag my dad into the pond. My dad was never seen ever again.

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