Shrek x Barry B benson

🍟Chapter 10 ~ WcDonald's🍟

Shreks POV:

I woke up in a really uncomfortable bed that smelled of disinfectant. For some reason it was oddly familiar. I opened my eyes and found myself to be in a hospital bed.... yet again.  

The last time I came to this hospital was to get my ripped ass treated. The doctors said that I would have bleed to death if I had come to the hospital a bit later. Some people might be fooled into thinking that I was grateful to the doctors for "saving" me but no, I was absolutely livid! Thanks to them I had to walk around with a butt crutch for 2 weeks.

A doctor came up to me and asked me wether I was all right or if I needed a glass of water. Cogs turned in my head trying to contemplate what the doctor wanted from me. I came to the conclusion that the doctor had drugged my water to kill me and take my health insurance.

Like the clever Ogre I was, I lifted one of my beefy arms and snatched away the water glass. My ribs still really hurt but that wouldn't stop me. I discreetly spat in the water and sliped in some of my lung medication. Then I gave him a gaped tooth smile to the doctor and said thank you for the water. Ohhh, the self restraint it took to not bitch slap him...

The only thing stoping me from doing that was the fact that I had had a plan, a much, much better plan. I asked the doctor to come a lite bit closer to me. Then with the swiftness of a turtle on steroids, I opened his trousers  and poured the whole glass of water onto his balls. Hopefully his balls would sting for the rest of his life.

He collapsed to the ground and lie there - silent. 

I guess he's  dead.

Of course that didn't bother me in the slightest. Why cry over someone else's injuries, its not like I knew the dude. He was just some random doctor who tried to drug and kill me for my money. If anything I should be throwing a party for eliminating a scammer who could have potentially scammed other people. Normal people would be horrified and weeping waterfalls, but not me. I would never do that. It's  just not the way of the Ogre. 

I stormed out of the hospital with Sasha grabbing my right arm and Barry on my left. I was so fucking angry with thees doctors who "want the best from you" . My pure anger made me hungry so I suggested to my besties that we go and grab some Wc Donalds. 

We stood at the side of the road trying to get a taxi. All of us had a flat hand stretched into the road to grab someones attention.

It worked like a treat! A an old jeep slowed down to have a look at what we were doing. Out of the old jeep came an even older man. Barry screamed "HOLY SHIT THATS FORTUNE TELLER I SAW A WHILE A GO". The man just gave Barry an almost seductive smirk. I growled at him to accrete my dominance . He flinched then gave me a reasuring look then said "Its allright mate, I know 'ees your lad. Make sure 'o loo' after 'im. Anyways where you want to go with ya lads?". Berry and Sasha looked at me and said " Yeah, where are we going?". "Were going to WcDonalds" I said, anticipating berry to scream at me for not going to the cursed BuggerQween that sells burgers for $666.69.

Instead Barry, as well as Sasha , were glowing with happiness. I opened the car door for Sasha to get in and just as he was staggering into the car I screeched "Bitch, Ladies first". Then I let out a which's laugh. 

Sasha let out a sigh that sounded more like a moan and we all got into the jeep. The old mad drove us to Wcdonnals, but when we got there the carpark was full. I lie, there were 3 disabled spaces in front of the entrance doors. We lurched forward as the shrivelled man made a decision. He had decided to park the car across the last 3 available spaces. 

As we went in a wave of oily fatty smell went trough our noses. I liked my lips as if they were dryer than the Sahara desert. I placed my order of 6 bigwhacs and a fizzy lemonade. Sasha went to find a table to sit down at as Barry and I went to order.  

Suddenly Barry kissed me for a good minuite. He let out a gasp then whispered in my ear  "You're paying". A tear drop rolled down my face as I pulled out the last of my cash from my broke ass. Our oder pinged and I went over to the counter to pick up my burgers. 

As always I opened my bigwhack burger box and was absolutely devastated to see a tiny soggy burger almost dissolving into the burger box. 

My eyes flicked to the cashier and I gave him a menacing stare. He opened his moth, presumably to ask me wether I was ok. I interrupted him before he even had the chance to speak with "OI WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING GIVING ME THIS DISGRACE OF A BURGER! I ASKED FOR A BIGWHACK, A BIGWHACK! But no, you just had to give me a burger smaler than your micro cock! 

The cashier snatched the money out of my hand and went into the back kitchen. A new, beefyer, more intimidating cashier replaced the previos one. I sighed and berry and I went to the table where Sasha was waiting.

There were two other people sitting at the table and they were horrifyingly familiar but when I realised who they were I flipped out. 

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