My Skater Boy // V.H.

45- Right Now

tw: violence

We got home late last night. Everyone was either asleep or not home so Vinnie and I went down to the music room. I sit down on the piano bench as Vinnie sits down across from me in the arm chair. I smile over at him and his lips tug at the corners.

The lights aren't on, only letting the moonlight guide my eyes as I look at his contrasted features. "You're too far away." I say in almost a whisper. After a moment, he gets up slowly and walks across to me. He sits with his legs on either side of me on the piano bench and I can feel his breath on my shoulder.

"Better?" He whispers. I just nod my head as my cheeks heat. "Did you ever listen to the rest of the cassettes?" He leans his lips on my bare shoulder.

"No, I didn't get that chance." I told him.

"Do you want to?" My eyes meet his and I nod. "Not all of them were tragic. Some were fun to record with the guys. There's one..." He trails off as he gets up from the bench and moves toward the roll top desk.

"Other drawer." I say as my heart lodged in my throat as he reached for the drawer with my tapes. He takes out the manila envelope with the letters and tapes that he snuck into my bag in LA and then walks over to the tape player, sliding it off the dresser and bringing it to us.

He sits back down, shutting the piano to rest the tape player on top. He reaches into the envelope and takes out the next tape, a rubber band binding the letter to the tape. He unwraps the letter and hands it to me before sliding the tape into the player but not pressing play.

He looks over at me as I hold the letter and looks down at it as if to tell me to read it. And so I did.

Esty,

After I shared my story with you, and you treated me as if I wasn't something to be fixed, I knew that this friendship of ours would grow into something else. I knew that when you bought us actual food because you were worried that drinking energy drinks and eating poptarts for the rest of our lives that it would ruin our bodies so you bought us food.

You sang Safe and Sound for me, about the recent guys in your life. Thinking of ever having a song written about me makes my skin prickle with goosebumps especially if that person is you with your gallons of talent.

I wrote this song with Troy. He helped me record it, sing it, and express how I've been feeling.

Right now, I wish you were here with me Esty.

Vinnie.

I look back up at him with a large smile on my face. I nod toward the player and he pushes the play button. A guitar begins to play and I lean myself into Vin as I listen.

"Lights go down and the night is calling to me, yeah." Troy sings. "I hear voices, singing songs in the street and I know,"

"That we won't be going home. For so long, for so long but I know. That I won't be on my own." Vinnie's beautiful voice sings. I feel his chin rest atop my head and I lace my fingers with his.

"Right now, I wish you were here with me." Vinnie sings and Troy 'Oh ooh' along. "'Cause right now, everything is new to me. Oh ooh. You know I can't fight the feeling. And every night I feel it. Right now I wish you were here with me." They harmonize the last line. I smile.

"Late night spaces. With all our friends you and me, yeah." Vinnie sings solo again.

"Love these faces, just like how it used to be." Troy sings.

"And we won't be going home. For so long, for so long, but I know. That I won't be on my own. I'm feeling like," Vinnie sings.

"Right now, I wish you were here with me. Oh ooh." I hear Vinnie hum softly above me and I squeeze his hand. "Cause right now, everything is new to me. You know I can't fight the feeling. And every night I feel it. Right now, I wish you were here with me." They sing together.