Essence of the Angels (The Starlight Chronicles #2)

Chapter One

Valarie's POV

I was standing under a shadowy, black sky, surrounded by sprawling gardens that glistened in the moonlight. A gentle breeze caressed my skin, carrying cinders from the burning torches that lit the courtyard. I waited—for whom, I did not know yet, but I waited in the night and wondered what I was there for.

A figure finally emerged from the shadows from the arched doorway ahead like it had melded out of the darkness itself, dressed in dark clothes and sheltering its face from view. I recognized his hair and stance, the way he carried his shoulders and moved his legs with such staggering purpose. The sweep of his body cut through existence itself, until he finally lifted his gaze and his emerald green eyes bore into mine.

Mixed emotions stung at my heart. One side of me felt a yearning towards those eyes; but that was the part of me that had died long ago, along with the burning flames that singed through my veins.

The other part of me was struck with despair, for those eyes were where my pain lay. They haunted my every living moment, taunted me, and told me what I could not have—what my heart would never accept again, not after all that he had done. The hurt and pain he put me through, the burdens and pressure he laid upon me. The people he tore down to claim me once more.

I was fire—I was not meant to be contained. Not meant to be kept, ordered, and restricted by boundaries. I needed to be free.

Upon realizing that, a sense of claustrophobia came upon me, because I knew—deep down in my heart, in my soul—I was trapped here. In this memory. In this dream, and I needed to wake up.

Julian reached for me, seeking to hold me . . . to kiss me . . . and a sense of longing tainted by repugnance came upon me all at once.

No, I tried to say, but my mouth would not move. Words would not come. Nobody could hear me. I was trapped in my memory—in a past that had already happened, and I could not escape.

I am fire. I am fire. I cannot be contained.

I repeated the words desperately, as those eyes gazed deeper and his mouth drew nearer. His arm snaked around my waist, and his embrace was tight. The part of me that had lived once before did not try to stop him; it leaned into him instead, wanting that affection as much as he did. I could feel our hearts beating together and the tickle of his warm breath upon my lips.

I was screaming.

The darkness shattered, twisting into light, as I lunged upward.

I was in a bed, sweat pooling on my forehead and dripping down my arms. My throat was raw, and the silk bed linings too hot—I needed air. I needed cold, fresh air.

I ripped the sheets off just as the door swung open, but I didn't have time to see who it was before a wave of nausea attacked me and forced me to jerk forward. My knees hit the floor, and I heaved as the contents of my stomach spilled out, the dizzying blackness of my vision taking over.

I rasped for breath as everything spun.

Suddenly, hands were on me, steadying me.

"Breathe," a voice whispered. It was a familiar voice, who then ordered, "Sadie— fetch some water and a bucket to clean this up."

I gritted my teeth together. My hands were clammy and my brain felt shattered. I hadn't slept decently since I'd arrived here yesterday; I'd spent the entire time dreaming up night terrors full of my past life's memories and drifting in and out of consciousness. I couldn't eat. I couldn't function at all. I finally stopped heaving and realized how weak I felt as exhaustion seeped back into my muscles.