The Pursuit of Happiness (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

~~~~~ Riley - Different Versions of Reality ~~~~~

"Riley, please lift your hands up so I can put on your shirt." I could hear the voice. It sounded miles away but I could hear it none the less. It sounded familiar. I knew that voice. I had dreamed of that voice.

"We are going to be late. Please Riley put on the shirt."

I wanted to ask why I needed to put on the shirt but I couldn't voice the words. I wanted to ask who was behind the voice. But I know who it was. I don't remember her name, or what she looks like, or even why she's here. But I know her. I know her name. I know the person behind the voice.

Everything is just there. The lamp that has been positioned on top of my dresser for three whole years is there. The bottles of the finest wines and hard liquor are exactly where they need to be. Everything is the way it should be. And then it's not. It confusing. It's driving me insane.

I know I need to be doing something, anything like putting on the shirt Karmen wants me to put on, but I can't seem to do it.

The voice has been here all week. It tells me to do things. It tells me what not to do. It tells me that everything will be okay.

The voice talks a lot. I don't mind, but sometimes I wish she wouldn't speak so much. Then when she does stop I want nothing more than for her to speak again. It's all so weird and confusing.

I cry a lot too. I do a lot of that. Once I start I cannot seem to stop. The tears don't bother me. Until they do. I can taste them sometimes. They are salty. And wet. I cry until I can no longer produce tears. I fell better when I do, but when I'm done it hurts to have cried so much.

I do not know why I cry. I do not know how long I have cried. I do not know why I cry. But I do. I cry. I cry a lot.

"Watch your head."

The voice is always there. Sometimes there are a couple more voices, but those don't stay long. Her voice seems to calm me. She rubs my back and hugs me when I cry. I have hit her in numerous places. She never flinches or moves. She lets me punch her. She hugs me and rocks me to sleep. She has a soothing voice. Her hands are nice too.

Her touch is soft yet firm. She can be aggressive but most of the time she is compassionate and soft. She talks a lot. But I don't mind. I think I know her. I know I know her. But I don't know her name or what she looks like. I must know her.

Sometimes I can picture her face but its blurry. She's pretty, even when blurry. Her voice sounds hot so she must be hot. Really hot. Hot and blurry. But still hot.

"Lift your arm for me please."

She says please a lot. I noticed that. She isn't demanding. But she does demand me to do things. I do not mind. Except when I do. It so confusing. Yet, it's not. It makes perfect sense.

Her smell is intoxicating. She's around me a lot. I smell her a lot. I think she has noticed. I hope she doesn't mind. I really like her smell. She has two kinds of smells. One is when she's s freshly out the shower and then the other is when she is dressed. She has taken showers here before. She comes in at random times to do stuff around me and for me. She treats me like I child. I am no child. I try to tell her so but I can't seem to find the right words. I can't seem to find anything.

"Come on Wilson snap out of it! I need you to come back! This version of you is scarier than the woman I accidentally married a week ago."

She sounds frustrated nowadays. I can only capture a few words of what she said. Most of the time I just stare at her. Her lips move slower than the words. Sometimes I grab them so I can understand them but she doesn't like that. Her words hang in the air as if wanting to be seen but are so dense that they can't help but float away.