barking at the moon [tendou satori]

chapter eight: saying goodbye is hard

AS THE WEEK came to an end, a weight had settled in Oka's stomach. She knew this time would come eventually. Where'd she have to say goodbye to Tendou and resort to being a long distance couple. If he even wanted to continue dating past the camp.

  Oka shoved her sleeping bag in its bag, wiping away imaginary sweat. Her stuff was all packed away, same with everyone else's. It was sort of bittersweet, she realized. She wanted to sleep in her own bed but she'd made so many new friends here.

  She felt like a new person.

  When she first got here, she never expected to walk away as a person in love. Without Tendou she would still be the lonely person who believed there was no one who could love her. She had been consumed by thought of becoming the top ace and focusing on nothing but volleyball.

  She sniffled gently and fanned her eyes. She would not cry. Someone knocked on the door and she stood up to see Semi. She smiled at him. "Hey Semi, I'm just finishing packing. Is Shiratorizawa leaving already?" She hoped he would shake his head but at his sad smile she nodded.

  She hadn't really discussed this with Tendou. What they would do after training camp ended. She didn't attend Shiratorizawa and certainly couldn't drive out there. Hell, she was leaving for university next summer. If her parents knew how she was acting they would be furious. She needed to focus on volleyball, not some boy.

  A boy who had changed her entire life.

  "Tendou holed himself up in our room. He refuses to come out until you come say bye to him." Semi apologetically pointed a hand outside the door. Oka nodded, meekly following him down the hallways and stairs until they stopped at a door that looked like all the others.

  Ushijima and Shirabu were waiting outside the door, Goshiki desperately knocking on the door. "C'mon you big baby, Oka doesn't want to see you being a brat!" He yelled through the door and when Oka giggled he froze. He offered her a sheepish smile and stepped aside.

  Ushijima rested a hand on her shoulder. "He's not used to saying goodbye," his tone was monotonous like usual but his face made her pause. 'Neither am I'

  She licked her lips. Would Tendou even listen to her. But she couldn't wait any longer. She tried to slide open the door but frowned when it was locked. "Go away you dumb haircut loser! Go be the ace or whatever!" Tendou yelled through the door. Oka tilted her head.

  "Really Tendou? Don't do Goshiki like that." She could feel Tendou go still before he unlocked the door, peeking through the tiniest crack. He slid it open enough to drag in her, instantly slamming it shut behind her and locking it.

  Oka didn't even have time to blink before he was crumpling into a ball on the floor, pulling her alongside him. They ended up in a weird cuddle pile where he clutched onto her, refusing to say anything. She inhaled deeply, trying to think of something to say.

  "Tendou, you knew we would have to say goodbye eventually," she started but stopped when he cupped hand over her mouth. It wasn't angry or forceful, but she could understand his need. She hated thinking about it. God she just wanted time to stop for a moment. To give herself a little more time.

  His hand eventually peeled away. "Oka, I love you. And you don't ever have to be dainty for me, or think no one loves you. Because I love you. I love you and it will never be a joke." She didn't realize she was crying until his voice broke as well. Her shoulder shook and she buried her head into his chest, trying not to sob.

  She nodded. "Tendou I don't wanna leave. Just promise me you'll text and call and maybe I'll see you," she pulled away to wipe her tears and stare down at Tendou, who was now below her. He blinked away the tears in his eyes, arms holding hers.

  He nodded, slow and deliberate. Her lip wobbled as she collapsed onto his chest. His hand stroked her hair. "Satori I love you, I love you so much." She squeezed her eyes shut to try and stop herself from crying.

  "Like how much you love chocolate?" He tried and she gently smacked his arm and laughed before it turned into a sob.

  He cradled her there for a moment before sitting up, taking her with him. "I got these from Suga from Karasuno, he said we were the cutest couple there." Satori's words were muffled from where he rested on her head but he pulled out some Polaroid pictures and handed them to her.

  It was of them playing in the water and laughing wildly. The next was of them kissing in drenched clothing, her standing on her tiptoes just to reach his shoulders. The third was then knocking back beers together, holding hands. There were a couple of more of them laughing into each others faces but easily her favorite were the last two.

  One was her laying down on his lap, reaching up her hand to cradle his face. Suga had somehow gotten close enough to capture their expressions clearly, and the clear love made her choke back another sob. The final was Tendou carrying her up the hill, a passed out Oka on his back. Tendou was looking straight into the camera with a small smile.

  She sniffled. "Tendou I don't know what to say," she hated the way her voice sounded so broken but by the way Tendou sniffed she knew he was feeling the same.

  "Then don't say anything." He whispered before turning her to face him, pressing his tear-stained lips to hers.

  There was a salty aftertaste but she ignored it to capture his lips with hers. Like all the others before, time stilled and let them be content in their safe little bubble.

  Oka didn't know how long they stayed there, maybe forever or maybe ten seconds but she hated breaking off, like she was breaking them off.

  Tendou pressed himself against her. "I'll call you. I'll find you. I'll find a way to you, I'll never leave you." He whispered like a prayer to her ear. She nodded, too enamored to respond.