ten things i hate about u | l. gallagher

2. his smile

...

i used to love his smile. he used to smile at me all the time, there would always be a certain glint in his eyes—i never knew what it was. but it'd always shine when he looked at me.
he used to do this foreign thing all the time, and now it's just that, foreign.
his smiles are now only reserved for her. god, karen. he used to say he'd never leave me for her when their relationship bloomed, he'd take my hand and kiss my forehead, before finally letting me go
'hey, you are the most important person in my life. you're my girl, tina. i'm not leaving you behind. so raise that pretty head of yours and let's go get shit faced drunk.' the memory still remains bright in my head.

tina cried against her pillow, small fists clutching at the material tightly. she had promised. her mother had promised her that this time she'd be better, look where thats got them now, her mother shit faced drunk on the kitchen floor and tina crying her little heart out in her bed. she'd called lip already, he was across town but he somehow managed to burst in through her bedroom door on record time. "hey, hey i'm right here. you're fine." lip brought the small girl up on his lap as he leaned back against her headboard, "you're okay." he repeated, his breathe fanned her red, tear stained face. tina shook her head and sobbed, head burrowed in his neck. he smelled like cigarettes and cinnamon, a strange combination that suited him so well, it always brought her comfort. "wanna tell me why your moms passed out on the floor with a bottle of tequila?" lips voice broke the comfortable silence, he brushed a few rogue hairs out of her face as she sniffed. "uh, she relapsed. she promised, and she did it again—she's gonna leave again, everyone will. i should have listened  to you, lip. m' sorry." tina's red face scrunched up once again as another sob broke through her throat, lip shook his head as he shushed her quietly, rocking her body from side to side to calm her. "you didn't know, tina. and that's okay, you believed her, shes your mom—but i'll always be right here, don't you worry ." tina sniffed and shook her head "you'll leave just like the rest of them. dad said the same thing, look at where he is now, got a whore knocked up and they're living in her mansion." lip scowled "hey, you are the most important person in my life. you're my girl, tina. i'm not leaving you behind. so raise that pretty head of yours and let's go get shit faced drunk." tina giggled and nodded, letting lip stand from the bed. "well what're we waiting for, hm?" he shook his head and pulled her up "let's get us laid." he smirked,
"lip!"

so yeah, i really fucking despise his smile—it's cold and bitter, that is if he even bothers to give me one. now, his face remains a scowl in my presence.
i never did understand how someone you love can flip a switch just like that, and suddenly you never knew them at all.