Dear Diary,
life is pointless after high school. you spend those years learning about yourself, who you are, who you want to be, building up to the person you want to become. but what's after that? you go to college, get a job, retire, then die. it's rather pointless. an endless cycle that repeats. yet if you don't move forward with it, you'll be left behind, dying sooner, rather than later. but what happens if your dead before you even start ? i never liked who i was. my personality changed based on fictional figures. unrealistic. if a person was calm and cool, i wanted to be that too. if they were happy and center of attention, i wanted the same thing. everything i wanted was unrealistic. everything i want is unrealistic. i spend most of my time looking out the window, presumably waiting to be transported out of this world and into one where i'd be happy. but of course, that's unrealistic. i always want the things i can't have, that may be the same for a lot of people. but mine are so far out of reach, i couldn't even say it out loud.
<3
