Smile In Pain ( Jungkook x BTS )

Useless

Let's begin with Chapter 2! 

"Feeling Worthless Is An Understatement"

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Jungkook POV~

8:00 AM

I woke up with swollen eyes. I look at my phone screen and saw no notifications at all from the hyungs. Maybe they were busy and tired. I look at the time and it's already 8:00 AM. I went to the bathroom to take shower. I look at myself in the mirror and saw myself. I try to smile but when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel disgusted. Suddenly the voices are back.

"You always look bad, why do you still need to see yourself in the mirror ? " the voices laugh.

I try to ignore the voices and went to my closet. But the voices will never stop.

" Hmm, you think you can ignore me? Let see how long you can ignore me. " the voices said.

I ignore the voices again and went outside of my room. There's no one in this house today. Since everyone went to work and college. I want to eat but I remembered what Jin Hyung said to me yesterday. I went back to my room and take my wallet. 

I walked to the nearby convenience store and look for some food there. I don't have enough money so I only looked for cheap food. I paid for the food and eat there. While eating, I looked at the road and saw many people walk around there happily.

"I wish to be happy like them. I want to walk together with hyungs and eat together with hyungs," I said to myself while eating the food.

After I have done eating, I went back home. I saw Jimin Hyung and Taehyung Hyung were in the living room, watching television. I want to go back to my room.

"Jungkook " Jimin Hyung called me.

When he called me, I feel scared. I went to him.

" Hyung, you back. Have you finished class? " I asked.

" Have you cleaned the house today? " he asked totally ignored my question.

I shooked my head and then Taehyung Hyung kicked me from behind. I fell down. He put his leg at the back of my body. Jimin Hyung hold my chin and harshly raise my chin. 

"You went outside without cleaning the house? " he asked me.

"I went to the store to eat," I answered nervously.

Taehyung Hyung kicked me again.

"Do you think we care, I don't think you have any work in this house. IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT, MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN THE HOUSE FIRST. " Taehyung hyung yelled.

Every word he yelled, he kicked me harshly.

" The reason we took you from the street is that we were so pitied with you since you were so small back then. But, you do know that we can send you back to the street anytime right. " Jimin Hyung whispered and slapped my face.

They left the house. I tried to stand up, but it just hurt so much. I feel scared and hurt when he said that they want to send me back to the street. I bear the pain and quickly went to clean the house. While cleaning, the voices are back.

" How's the feeling, getting kicked and slapped? " the voices laughed.

I ignored.

" You know there is one way to relieve all the pain. " the voices said.

I stopped cleaning.

"*LAUGH* I see. you interested in this, right.  " the voices laugh.

I can't ignore the voice anymore.

" How can I relieve all the pain? " I asked the voices.

" You can cut your wrist, I bet you will feel no pain after doing that. " the voices said.

I know I should not listen to the voices, but it just hurt so much. After I had finished cleaning the house. I went to my bathroom and find a razor blade. Before I cut my wrist, I looked at the mirror and I saw my teardrop from my eyes.

"I know, one day. I'm gonna regret this," I said to myself.

1 cut~

2 cut~

3 cut~

4 cut~

I want to continue cut but I heard someone went back home. I quickly cleaned the blood from my wrist and the razor that full of my blood. For the first time, I agree with the voices. I really do feel relieved after cutting my wrist. I went to my closet and changed clothes to long-sleeved clothes. 

"I think I can do it more often later," I said to myself and smile in pain.

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Finished with Chapter 2 of Smile In Pain.

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TT