Smile In Pain ( Jungkook x BTS )

Trip Part 2 :((

Chapter 5 

"There is an ocean of silence between us...

 and I am drowning in it."

..........................................................................

The next day~

6:00 AM 

I woke up and closed the alarm. I lay back and remembered what have I done yesterday.

~Flashback~

I took the razor and went to the bathroom. Before I cut, I sat on the toilet and think whether should I cut or not.

"Just cut, why do you have to think? You want to relieve your pain, right? It's not wrong at all. By the way, the Hyungs will never care about you at all. " the voices said.

"No, you lie. I know they care about me." I said to myself.

" Sure, whatever you say. Tell me who cares about you. If they care, they would ask you to be their roommate and you will not stay in the living room. You know, the one who only cares about you, is me. " the voices said.

I stop answering the voices cause everything that the voices said is true. They hate me so much. I walk to the sink and look at the mirror.

"Maybe, I am the one who shouldn't come here with them. They looked happy without me. " I said while looking in the mirror.

I saw my tears dropping and the tears cannot stop, it kept dropping. I cut my wrists many times until I feel relieved. Then, I washed the blood that came out from the cut. 

" I hate myself. " 

Before I get out of the bathroom, I take a last look at myself in the mirror.

~End Flashback~

I took my jacket and went outside the house. I wanna take a walk for a while. I walk to the park nearby. I sat on the bench and observe the people who were there. Some people went there with family, jogging with their family and more. Everyone looks so happy with their family. 

" Can hyungs ever accept me as their family member? " I said to myself. 

Then, I went back home at around 8:00 AM. The hyungs already outside of the house. I looked at them until Seokjin Hyung saw me looking at them. I smile and walked towards them slowly.

"Since everyone is here. I think we can go right now. " everyone nodded their head and went inside the car.

We went to many places and everyone was so happy except for me. Tonight, they want to eat bbq. So we bought everything that we need to eat bbq. I sat behind alone, I saw everyone was chatting together and they totally ignore me. I smiled and only looked at the window quietly and I hold my tear from falling.

At the house~

I was helping them to set up the places to eat the bbq. After everything is done, we eat together. At least this time, they asked me to eat with them. I eat the food happily. Yoongi Hyung get up and went inside the house. 

I saw Taehyung Hyung, Jimin Hyung, and Hoseok Hyung were laughing non-stop when they see Yoongi Hyung went inside the house. I don't know why, but I feel uneasy.

"JEON JUNGKOOK" I heard someone called my name.

Yoongi Hyung called me. I get up and went to him.

"WHY IS MY WALLET INSIDE YOUR SUITCASE AND WHERE IS MY MONEY? " he yelled.

"No, it is not me. " I said softly.

"SO, MY WALLET WALK TO YOUR DAMN SUITCASE ON ITS OWN? AND WHERE IS MY MONEY? " he yelled.

"I don't know," I said scaredly.

"You know what, Jungkook? This trip is stupid. I try to enjoy this trip, but I just cannot. You make this trip became worse. I FUCKING HATE YOU. " Yoongi Hyung yelled.

He throws a few things that have on the table. He came towards me and pushed me until I fell to the floor. He kicked me and abused me. The other hyung just ignore and continue to eat the food that does not fall from the table.

"TELL ME, WHERE IS ALL MY MONEY? THIS IS WHY I HATE PEOPLE OUTSIDE WHO CAME TO MY FAMILY. I KNOW YOU ARE POOR, BUT DON'T SHOW YOUR STUPIDITY TO ME. " he kicked me harshly and went inside the house.

I lie on the floor until everyone finished eating and they ignored me. They let me stay there, no one taking care of me. When everyone's gone, I get up slowly and went inside the house slowly. I sat on the couch.

"See, they never helped you. Never. The only one Hyung that did not abuse you, finally he abused you. " the voices said.

I hold my head and hit my head many times. I hit my head so that the voices will go.

" I know I am useless, hopeless, So stop disturb me. " I hit my head many times.

I hit my head until I don't have energy and fell asleep.

..............................................................................................

Finished with Chapter 6 of Smile In Pain.

I am crying while writing this chapter. 

huhuhuhu😭😭

BTW, I LOVE YOU GUYS MY READER~ <3

~hihihihi~

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