The Good place

Opposites Attract

In my alma mater, there used to be a couple who performed a play at the annual festival. In braod strokes, it was about an abusive husband (who later turns around) who used to drink all day and throw any kind of abuses and swears one can imagine and more, at his wife. “Bitch, bastard, Bovine-bred, slut, cunt, You have no idea of the concept of tea let alone food etc.”
Somehow, they managed to put such a successful performance that the officials decided to put on a show for the locals. Eventually, they got pretty famous and the play got commercial success. At the conclusion, they put on whopping 1500 shows over a span of 7 years.
The funny thing was that the actor who played the husband was never given any specific list of abuses or taunts to begin with. He was supposed to improvise it in real-time. The funnier thing was that he always used to be prepared with a new form of slur in every performance. Once it was her bad cooking skills or, her bad taste in clothing or, her inability to control the kids etc. In one show, he spent 15 minutes discrediting her dimples!

Anyway, they finally decided to close the chapter and what better place to do it than the place of origin. It was a big event. The place was flooded with press. After a delightful performance, it was the time for the news of the day. The couple declared the wedding dates. It was expected, actually, but the real story began when one of the reporters asked a juicy question - “How can you marry someone who has managed to find a new fault in you, every single day?” The question was followed by a whisk of chuckle although, we were a little curious for her answer.
She said,
“I believe it was the 347th show when I stormed into my room, crying, asking a similar question. I was going through a bad time and his ‘performance’ wasn't exactly helping. That's when I found a pocket diary on the table addressed to me. Each of them contained a plethora of pairs of antonyms i.e. One positive quality or phrase paired with its opposite. Kind vs cruel, cute butt vs fat ass, beautiful dimples vs hell pits etc.
For every performance, this man managed to find good one good thing that is in me and flip it to create an insult. He literally has a record of all the reasons he is attracted to me. I marry him because he found 1500 ways to call me beautiful. And my favourite is the last one he wrote today; it said - to be continued…“