The Good place

Dark humour

Why are John Grisham's novels celebrated so much?

Because they often are courtroom mysteries about mysterious courteousness.

Three witnesses walk into a court;

The first neighbour says,

"I've seen this man lure Innocence into the dark.

Push her down, by saints

and pull down his pants.

Punish this monster with all your might.

Destroyer of the hands holding orange delight."

The second godfather says,

" Exactly what do we know about the beast?

Looks like a human, and smells like yeast.

Why does he roam around the school?

The pied piper drowned my little rat in the dark pool."

The third father said...

But lions don't speak, do they? They bite.

They're honourable to a fault.

They aren't afraid of spite.

They are living embodiment of assault.

Imagine a lifetime supply of the terror

that comes after crackling a dwarf joke.

Now make it slightly bigger.

That's my nig... uh.

Custom sole? They would've needed a custom soul from the divine.

Dressed in the largest prison whites and the smallest smirk,

It's like he knew the biggest punchline.

" My lord, we might not know why the chicken crossed the road but

we do know where this person should be towed."

Few questions on the dignity of the justice system,

A thousand crocs crying to the Lady justice and the tome,

Get it ready, the sacrificial dome.

The end of the world's oldest sitcom.

Conspiracy theory: The final words phenomenon

is a shenanigan

of the literature of sensation.

" You know what scatological humour is?

Well, it is the shit.

Shit isn't being a war deserter.

Shit isn't being the sample size of battle scars.

Shit isn't being the universal absorber of the aforementioned dark.

Shit is being a traumatized, acclimatized and profitably dramatized 5 year old." vomited the volcano.

"Well, I have a story for you -

What did the ant say to the elephant?

The ant calls me the sleeping elephant and hid under my nose.

The elephant looked everywhere but it blows.

The elephant was a loner with an aversion to humanity.

Adults are a menace, kids were a bigger calamity. Calamities are unwelcome in this house.

The elephant bolted the door.

Sleep no more.

Out came the ant hiding behind the cupboard.

Scared to death, mucked with mud.

The elephant blew the trumpet

'Close the door.'

her tears wet the carpet.

Here we again to the land of nightmares.

She grabbed my trousers and pulled them down

all unawares.

Then came the father running inside the house.

Looking at me like it's me he's gonna douse."

How many people does it take to light a light?

None.

But just a screen and a domestic surveilling oversight.

There it was the proof of his Innocence.

Missing was the temporal dissonance.

Why did the loner wait for a spectacle?

Why wasn't evidence produced on the first tackle?

"I see the puzzled eyes and the irritated sighs.

Why was a child's prank stretched till nighs?", roared the judge from the fridge.

"You accuse me of murder or Innocence.

What you saw was a mischievous child.

What I saw was a soldier.

Alert in his sleep.

Never disobey the order.

Command: jump into the well.

Soldier: Oh Swell.

Command: Dismantle that gun.

Soldier: Thrice was it done.

Command: Close the door.

Soldier: Please no more.

The little soul was consumed, with forks and knives.

An impractical joke in the middle of the time of our lives.

(pause)

You say you don't who I am.

You say that I'm the pied piper but

Mind you soldiers aren't grown.

Soldiers aren't cultivated.

Soldiers are turncoats

to their true nature.

And a perfect soldier is a result

of not days,

months

but years.

Such discipline isn't cultivated through force alone.

It requires respect.

Constant influence and

the pseudo-dynamic of affection."

You call him the lion.

The metaphor of might.

The protector of everything in the line of sight.

The devourer of children.

The demonstration of rage was real.

As real as jealousy.

His soldier finally obeyed the order,

not given by him."

(silence)

"Now you ask me why wait till now

to put Descartes in front of the horses?

I wanted to let him know

and any other sons of hoses.

This is the end for you.

This isn't a formality.

The world is going to fall over you

This is a goddamn slapstick comedy."