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When you wish upon a throuple

I first learned about throuples from the Netflix series Insatiable. From what I gathered, a throuple is three people all dating each other. Chaos ensues, 2 people prefer each other, and shit hits the fan. Fast forward to June 2021.

Here is my recent experience with the taboo Throuple.

I needed a new veterinarian.  I tried to take them to a national chain and was extremely disappointed. After walking my happy ass out of that place without having the dogs seen, I decided to ask my neighborhood facebook group for recommendations. Someone spoke up immediately. A few replies later, a man( we will call him Dvm) piped up and said he was a vet and worked at the place the first rec mentioned. Cool! I love supporting local, especially a neighbor. Made an appointment for the next week.

Being the responsible adult I am, I facebook stalked the new vet. What?! I needed to know who I was entrusting my fur babies to. 

Results of my snooping:

-Dvm is sexy as hell

-No wife or wedding ring in sight (what?! Im divorced)

-Has 3 small monsters

-Seems to have great reviews from pet parents

My 230 pounds of dogs and I arrive at this beautiful building and are greeted by friendly staff.  We are quickly ushered into a very large room, because... Great Pyrenees, and greeted by a friendly and attractive dr.(Dvm)  We had a great visit! At one point, I may have asked if there was a mrs. Dvm. Ugh... of course there is.  We go to leave and Dvm says "You should friend me on facebook". Uhhh... Was that flirty or am I just thirsty.

Within 10 minutes of leaving the clinic, I have a friend request from one Dvm! Ok, ok, he's just being neighborly and friendly. Friendly practitioner usually equals referrals. Before I even get home I have a message from him. Dvm was so kind! He thanked me for my business and sang  the praises of my house llamas. After a "have a good weekend", the real story begins!

"Have you ever heard of a throuple"? Wait... What?

At this point, I'm thinking that he is inviting me to become a throuple with him and his wife. Me: "ya! Isn't that where all 3 people date each other?" What I say next is apparently hilarious but not uncommon coming from a birth worker's mouth. "That sounds fun and all, but I have seen a lot of exploded vaginas. I have no desire to play with one". Bahahahaha 

We continue to discuss throuples and how I would totally date him and his wife but only fuck him. Yes, I'm thirsty.

Apparently, he was not asking me to be in a throuple. He was telling me that he was already in one.

He went on to explain that his wife was raised in a small conservative town and began to explore repressed bisexual tendencies in college after they were already married. She began to explore with other women, and of course this led to threesomes.

At some point, the wife met someone she really liked and started dating her. Then came the threesomes. It seemed like they were well on their way to having a steady girlfriend. Girlfriend needed a place to stay for a bit after her lease went up. Annnnddd... she never left. Now the married couple had a live in girlfriend. In the words of Dvm, "My pull out game is weak". Along came baby 3 for the family, 1 and 2 are with wife. So now you have the following dynamic:

- Dvm is married to wife1.0. 

-Wife 1.0 is dating wife 2.0

-Dvm is dating wife 2.0

-Dvm has 2 kids with wife 1.0

-Dvm has 1 kid with wife 2.0

Confused yet?

Let's hop forward to June 2021. Kids are 4,2 and 1. Wife and wife 2.0 share a bedroom and are in a lesbian relationship. Dvm lives in the basement, does most of the childcare, and is completely left out of the relationship between wife and wife2.0. No threesomes have been had in over a year and no sex whatsoever has been had by Dvm in months!!

What the actual fuck bro?!

Dvm has been under the impression that he can do whatever his sexy heart desires as long as he is open and communicates well with the wives. I'm sure you can guess what happened next...

Dvm met me. We clicked right away. After talking for maybe 24 hours, it felt like we had been friends for months.  He asked the wives if he could possibly have a girlfriend since they clearly were only interested in each other. They gave the OK!!