Crash, Bash, Whiplash

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The summer before my freshman. I was 14.

I had recently started babysitting for the neighbors. They had a new baby and seemed to be a fun loving couple. The husband was an insurance agent that used to be a fire fighter and a cop. (More on him in another story). The wife seemed to be an adrenaline junky. They had Harleys and a lake house. 

That summer they decided to buy a new Sea Doo(motorcycle on the water). My mom and I went to the lake with a them a few times and had a blast. Between the wife and myself, we convinced my mom to buy me a Sea Too too. Just what every 80 pound 14 year old needs. 

One Friday, the wife wanted to take me and our Sea Doos to the lake while my mom worked. I was really apprehensive about it. I told myself that it was because I was expecting my period. Sidenote: I had had my first ever period the month before. Being the all knowing teen I was, I was sure it would come on the exact same day this month as well. I was terrified to have it at the lake and not be prepared.

Honestly, I think I just had a bad feeling about going. But I pulled on my big girl panties and went.

BIG MISTAKE!!

The wife was on her sporty Sea Doo, I was on my family sized Sea Doo, and the husband (lets call him H) was driving the boat. We were just playing around in a cove. Of course I had had the safety lessons and lectures. I was looking around before doing tricks and turns. Out of nowhere, I'm flying through the air!

Im talking like feet into the air. I land with a crash and look around like, wtf! I look around and see the wife in the water as well. Then the pain starts.

Here is what I believe happened. 

I was doing a circle. She was doing a circle and didn't see me. She hit the side of my Sea Doo. Hers was much smaller than mine, thank god. She ramped up over mine and her handle bar struck me squarely in the left shoulder blade. She claims that I got in her way, but thats definitely not how I remember it.

H gets us both into the boat. I can barely lift my arm. There is no outwardly concerning damage. I chose to ride back in the boat and have the chiropractor brother drive my machine of doom.

The boat right was the longest and most painful experience yet in my life. I had no idea what was wrong and I was terrified. We finally returned to the dock and the cluster of houses belonging to the family. That's when my shoulder started to swell. At fist it just looked like a tennis ball under the skin of my scapula.

The wife's mom got me some ice. H called my mom and told her there was an accident and that she needed to come down. 

By the time my mom made the hour drive down, My should was now the size of a large boob and was starting to turn pretty colors. 

Picture this... A tiny 80 pounds soaking wet 14 year old girl with a DD boob sticking out of her back. Yep, not good.

By the time we got to the hospital, I had a second head growing out my back. Lots of x-rays and a sling later, I was referred to a surgeon. The surgeon got me in the next day. 

Turns out, the handle bar struck me exactly in the middle of my shoulder blade. There was a nice big crack running vertically down my shoulder blade. Luckily, it wasn't very displaced. The surgeon told us that my scapula was only 1/32 od inch away from needing surgery and rehab. That would have taken me out of sports for at least 6 months. Boy was I lucky.

I ended up having to the wear the sling for my first week of high school and miss out on all cheerleading activities for a few more weeks.

In the end, I was incredibly lucky and have no permanent damage from the crash. I also, never got back on that stupid death trap.

The moral of the story?

Who the fuck gets hits by a Sea Doo?!

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