Chapter 98

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Jess remained unconscious for the next three days. Paige and Joshua both visited every day. Astrid and Kevin came often. Darren came almost every day once he heard what had happened.

The day she woke up, they were able to take her off the vent as well.  I sat on the bed and took her hand.

"Hey there beautiful. How are you feeling?"

"Da?" She asked.

"Yep. That's me. It's Dad sweetheart. Mom and I have been here the whole time. You're doing great sweetie," I said, holding her hand. She looked around the room but didn't really seem to focus on anything.

Doc had taken her for an MRI the day before and we were waiting for the results of that.

"Jess, sweetie?  It's Mom," Sarah said, sitting on her other side.

"Muh?" She said, squinting at Sarah.

"Yes, honey. It's Mom." 

Sarah looked at me with tears in her eyes.

Jess closed her eyes and fell asleep shortly after having woken up.

"Bren," Sarah said, looking at me. "I don't think she can speak so well." 

"I know. We'll see what Doc has to say."

We sat, holding each other's hands, waiting for the news we already knew was coming. Jess was dying.

Doc came in about an hour later. He looked solemn as he pulled up a chair and sat beside us.

"You're not bringing good news," I said. I wasn't asking.

He shook his head, and took a deep breath.

"This is the part I always hate with my patients," he started.  "I've read all the reports of the CT scan, the MRI, and I've gotten a neurology consult to confirm the results.

Jess had a cardiac arrest on Friday, as you know. She also had a stroke. There's also definite involvement in her brain now. There are somewhat large areas of atrophied lesions where the disease has infiltrated.

Her speech centres have been affected. She's going to lose the ability to speak.  Eventually, if she hasn't already, she's going to lose the ability to walk.

We're at the beginning of the end. There's no point in continuing the gamma globulin.

I'm going to tell you something that I think it's time you heard. You may not know this but you gave Jessica a good three more years than she probably would have had if she'd stayed at the Children's Home. By getting access to better treatments, we were able to stabilize her numbers for much longer and she stayed healthier longer with you.  She loves you two more than anything. She talked about you guys with so much love and awe. You gave her four of the best years of her life. You should be very proud and happy with the life you've given her."

"How long?" I asked, my voice catching.

"Maybe a couple of months."

Sarah choked out a sob. I sighed and put my head in my hands.

"I have to prepare you for some of the things that might happen as the disease involves more of her brain.

She might have seizures. Time them. If it's longer than five minutes, you need to call 911. If you want, I can set you up with home nursing care.

If, or when, she loses the ability to walk, you might want to consider setting up something in the main floor of your house. I know she's light, but if you wind up needing to call an ambulance, it'll be easier that way.

She may lose the ability to see and or hear.

She may stop being able to recognize you, her friends, her family.

I'm happy to come out to the house to continue palliative care. We can keep her comfortable. I know her biggest fear is being in pain.

I'm willing to let her go home once you have the equipment for her. I suggest a hospital bed. You already have the equipment for her tube feeds. I'll put in an order for oxygen. We can have that delivered when she needs it.

Once you have the bed, I'll release her and I'll come to your house to check and treat her.

How does that sound?"

"Horrible," I said. "We knew this day would come, I'm just not ready for it to be here."

"I know," Doc said.

"We'll call for the bed, and we'll take the nursing care at home too. Especially if we need help with seizures and pain meds."

We made some calls with Doc helping us. The bed would be delivered on Thursday. I said I'd go home to meet the delivery. We'd put it in the living room by the sliding doors to outside. So Jess could feel the sun and the wind when the doors were open.

Doc left to call the home nursing company and returned to tell us that he had two nurses lined up, a day nurse and a night nurse. He said they were nurses who had worked with a friend of his when they were dying and they were the best in his opinion. Kathleen would come during the day, 7-7, Charlotte would do the overnights.

With that set up, I started texting our friends. They deserved to know. They'd want to be around. They'd want to say goodbye.

Jess woke up around dinner time. She smiled at us but didn't say anything.  The nurse came in and hooked up her feed.

We held her hands and talked to her.

"Jess, honey," I said. "I need you to listen to me, okay?"

She nodded. So I knew she could hear and understand us.

"We just talked to Doc," I started. "And he told us that we're getting close, Sweetie. I feel like you already know that, though."

Jess nodded.

"I die," she said. "Not now doh."

"That's right honey. You're dying. But not now."

"I fight," she said. "Stay log I can."

"Okay sweetie. You fight to stay as long as you can. But when it gets too hard, we'll be there. You're going to come home in a couple of days. You told us you don't want to die in a hospital, so we're going to bring you home. Okay?"

She nodded.

Jess fell asleep a little while later and I told Sarah I was going to go home to sleep for a couple of hours. And I was going to do a quick Twitch to let the vros know where we were at. To not expect to see me after tonight."

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