CHAPTER 8: the deep talk

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I came back home, the lights were on in Lucas's room , so i guess he was still awake, i knock at the door, he opened, shirtless with his messy hair and rings, he was still angry. I entered and didn't say any word . I took a shower, then changed my clothes. I was hungry so i went downstairs to get some food, Lucas was there, i felt like he wanted to talk. I brought some food and sat to eat . After few minutes he decided to talk.
- why did you get mad in the first place?
- "stop pretending to care about me and my safety while u just left me there."i replied

- Seriously? U insisted on staying there. I was selfish for a second, yes. But i needed a distraction. What did u do when ur parents died? Of course you didn't act like nothing happened and of course your actions changed and u wanted a distraction .

- u know what the distraction was? Trying to kill myself. You aren't the first person on earth who lost their parents. I know it doesn't matter and that it still hurts, but it doesn't mean u have to hurt others just to distract yourself. You were kissing me then decided to go make out with someone u dont even know? Do you know how stupid i felt? And then u make fun of me for being a nerd, for having no social life, no thanks but i prefer to stay alone instead of getting hurt because of a dickhead.

- what if i get too attached to you? Then lose you too? Look at how i got sad when i lost my dad, and i didn't even know him. So how sad would i be if i lose someone i love? It just hurts . Everything hurts . And keeping you out of this is the best for you. You can die in any second , we aren't safe.

- i would rather die knowing that i was doing the good thinking trying to protect someone, than die in another way. And i am nothing special why would u get attached to me... your father wanted us to stay together. And i kept my promise so i am not leaving u until all this is over.

- i already started getting attached to you - i feel so stupid oh god.

I went upstairs to my room, i couldn't sleep, i decided to draw .. again. I spent more than an hour drawing with tears in my eyes. I dont know why but i felt like crying.
Then Lucas enters my room , i guess he wanted to check if i fell asleep, just like the last night.

- "what are u doing?" He asked
-"nothing." I threw the paper and went to bed
He went and picked up the paper from trash, and opened it. He saw what i drew , then slept next to me.
-" why is the drawing all a mess , unclear"
-" that's my head right now"
He looked at me in the eyes for a while then said " i guess we have similar thoughts "
Then he continued " i regret what i did , i really do , but while i was trying to protect u i hurted you even more. I hope you will forgive me"
-" do i even have a choice... i will have to go with you on Monday to ask the director if we can check the cameras. Gosh i hate you"
-" i love you too"
Before i could even realize what he just said, he approached and kissed me , laying on the bed . I kissed him back, i don't know why , but i did.
" i would like to borrow u for the night " he whispered
I didn't say anything, we just kept going, he took off his clothes, literally the hottest person ive ever seen.

We woke up the next morning, next to eachother, the first thing he did was hugging me , so i don't leave bed, and continue cuddling.
- "im not even supposed to be here" i said
-can u not be serious for just one minute chica
- not really, we have lots of things to do, boy
- it's literally Sunday, just let me enjoy it
- too much fun now get up
- ok fine.
He gets up, no smile on his face, but we had lots of stuff to finish and plans to make

I went downstairs to make breakfast, while he was showering. Then he came shirtless with a towel on, typical Lucas.
He held my waist, stood up right behind me, and said " it smells so good here" referring to the food
- u smell even better
- did u just compliment me chica
- why so surprised?
- because you're dry usually
- shut up
I said, smiling and throwing food at him
- "good to see you smiling again." He said
-mhm
Then he approached and kissed me , before i put food on the table and invite him to eat.

" He said-mhm Then he approached and kissed me , before i put food on the table and invite him to eat

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- now stop distracting me , we have plans to make
- ok fine.
He pulled back, but made me sit on his lap.
- what's the plan ? He asked
- we should keep thinking about that message on the notebook, what could it possibly mean. And why was the murderer impersonating you, to make people think u were the killer. We should also go tomorrow and ask for the cameras at school.
-okay mom. He replied with a smile on his face
Okay enough cuddling sir, now let's start working.

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