How Did We Get Here - Eminem Fan Fiction

New Years Eve

December 31, 2004

Over the holiday break, I worked every day and now I'm ready for some retail therapy. Emily and I are at the mall to buy dresses for New Year's Eve at Nick's tonight. "You have to buy that dress" Emily says as I walk out of the dressing room in a short black cocktail dress covered in sequins. "You are not wearing those sneakers though, you can't be serious?" Emily exclaims. Ignoring her, I turn my body at every angle and examine my curves in the mirror. "I'm wearing them" I reply, raising my foot and showing off the sneakers that Nate gave to me. "This dress is flashy enough and the sneakers make it more casual," I tell her. "You just want to wear them tonight because they're from Nate" she says. "Hey, I love my new kicks. Don't you think they complete the outfit?" I wink and she groans, "Oh my god, I wish you two would just hook up already" she says for the hundredth time. Before I speak, I think about Nate and our relationship. I've never had a guy friend like him before, he's caring, honest, and has never tried to cross the line. He's my best friend and I can't imagine blurring the lines of our relationship. I've never seen him as anything other than a friend and I do have love for Tristan, even though we're deteriorating from his actions. He has no idea that I plan to leave and lately, we are more like roommates. When he seeks physical attention from me, I feel numb and wish he would get away from me. How can I say I love him when I can't stand his touch? I'm clouded by the memories of how we used to be, what we could be, and disappointed in what we have become. "It's not like that, and you know it. Nate is like my brother" I say to Emily and I'm not sure she is listening anymore. She walks out of the dressing room wearing a tight black halter top with a pink sequin skirt. "That's hot. I can't wait for tonight" I say. We leave and head to Emily's house to do our hair and makeup. Tristan called to tell me that he is staying on campus tonight for his game tomorrow. We had a brief conversation and he asked about my plans twice. I told him that I wouldn't be at the game because I had to work and that I was going to stay at Emily's tonight. He has no idea that I'll be at a party and Emily jumped on the call to cover for me. This is the first New Year's Eve we are spending apart, all I have are the memories of the past, and am accepting that it will never be the same. "Thanks for backing me up" I say and Emily nods, "It's kinda crazy we haven't met him yet" Emily replies, "Why are you even together?" she adds and I sigh. "It's complicated Em" I reply and I'm not sure how much I should divulge. "He's never around, you live separate lives plus he's kinda controlling" Emily pauses and we make eye contact. " I know, it was never like this until we moved here" I admit. "Why don't you break up with him" Emily asks and a part of me wants to be honest and for a moment I think about coming clean. "I'm afraid if he meets you all he's gonna be crazy jealous" I confess and I don't want to say more. "If he was around you and Nate just once, he would be jealous" Emily smirks. "He's not the type that would be cool with me having a guy friend like that. Another reason I haven't brought him around" I add and continue to straighten my hair. "Do you love him?" Emily asks and I exhale, "I do. We have history together" I say and hope she stops asking questions. Emily places a shot glass in my hand, "Enough about him. We're pre-gaming bitch" she exclaims, and we both slam the shot. The warm tequila burns, but I'm in the mood to get drunk tonight, "I can't believe it's gonna be 2005" Emily yells while taking another shot. "Yo, slow down there killa" I say taking the bottle from her hands. We sneak out the side door and jump in my car. Arriving at Nick's, I find a spot on the side of the street and park. "Wait a minute, I wanna roll this" I stop Emily from leaving the car and roll a blunt. "You sure you don't wanna be single tonight?" Emily asks as I lick the wrapper and shoot her a stare. "Have you ever been with anyone other than Nick?" I ask, redirecting the attention onto her. "Nope, he's my first and my last" she exclaims and I can't contain my laughter, "You aren't gonna marry him" I shake my head, "Why not, we're going to college together. Maybe we'll get engaged soon" she says happily and I know exactly what it is like to live in that fantasy world. "Don't think about all that yet. Enjoy going to college" I advise and place the rolled blunt behind my ear. It's freezing and icy outside, the weather in Michigan is similar to Massachusetts and I'm no stranger to the frigid cold temperatures. We run inside, Nick throws himself on Emily and hands his cup of beer to me. Without hesitation, I down it immediately and go to the keg for a refill. "Where's Nathan?" I ask and Nick holds his hand out for my keys. "He's on his way" Nick replies, I hand over my car keys and scan the room. Nick's parents allow him to host parties because they can control the situation and make sure that no one drinks and drives. There are a lot of people that I recognize from school and the basement is slowly filling up. Standing by the keg, I refill my cup again and Nick pulls me aside, "I got more" he whispers and places an orange bottle in my palm. "I'll give you the cash later" I reply and slip the pill bottle into my purse. "Don't say anything to Em or Nate" he adds and I nod. "Dude I won't. Don't worry about it" I reassure him and watch as Nate walks down the steps. Approaching us, he hands a bottle of champagne to me and I wrap my arms around him. "Wow, you started early" he says as I grip him. Nate pulls back and stares, "You're buzzed already" he adds and I pull the blunt from my ear and hand it to him, "Spark it up Nathan" I smirk as he looks me up and down. "You look amazing." he says with a smile and lights the blunt. "You like my kicks?" I ask and he coughs out the smoke, "They look dope on you in that dress" he says and I take the blunt from his hand. "We gonna share this?" I ask passing the champagne bottle back to him, "You gotta open it, I don't know how" he whispers and I laugh. Blowing the smoke toward the ceiling, Nick leans in, "Hey man, is she coming?" he asks and Nate nods. Starring at the both of them, I watch Nate's eyes look past mine and I turn to see Alexis coming down the stairs in a tight red dress, her long brown hair in a ponytail. Waltzing toward us, she slides next to Nate and he wraps his arm around her waist as she presses her lips to his cheek. Pretending like I don't notice, I open the bottle of champagne and take a long sip. Nate catches my eye and I walk off to find Emily, my mind starts to race and I can't tell if I feel jealous, but I know that I feel angry. We hang out almost every day and he has not mentioned her since Halloween. We are supposed to be best friends and once again he's hiding something from me. I know it's hypocritical because I hid the abuse and I'm not upfront about the Klonopins but I have my reasons. Alexis and her clique are the mean girls of the school, stuck up and keeping the rumor mill running. She is beautiful and I see why Nate likes her, but this is not the girl he should be with. When I see them together, I can't help but feel mad. I'm worried that she's going to take my best friend away from me and I hate to think about that happening. Filling my cup with the champagne, I see Emily on the couch and Nick now at her side. "Here take this and gimme that" I demand, passing the bottle to Emily and grabbing the bong from Nick, "You okay?" Emily asks and I nod. "I'm good. Don't I look good?" I smile and blow smoke toward her face. "You look better than the other one" Nick mumbles and Emily elbows him in the ribs. "Ay, come on. She does" he moans and I look around the room. "You know anyone with coke?" I ask and Emily's eyes widen. "Nah, but I can ask around" Nick replies and hits the bong. "You do coke?" Emily asks, "Nevermind, just seems like a good night for it" I reply as my body relaxes and my thoughts float away. With the music bumping, I grab Emily's hand and pull her up from the couch. We playfully grind against each other, and I shoot a look at Nate. Swaying my hips, I close my eyes and feel the beat run through me. Emily stumbles into me and we laugh as I grip her shoulders, "Come play" Nick shouts as he stands by the flip-cup table. We play three rounds and the party starts to grow more lively. Nate and Alexis are on the opposite side of the table from me, Nate tips his cup toward mine and we go head to head. Chugging the warm keg of beer, I flip my cup and win the round for my team. Feeling the booze hit me, I stagger from the table to the bathroom and lean against the wall to wait in line. "What are you doing?" Nate asks as he steps up against me, "I'm chillen. What are you doing?" I ask, gazing up at him. "How much you gonna drink tonight?' he asks and I laugh, "You keeping tabs on me?" I reply and he grimaces. "Seriously Jayme, what is up with you?" he whispers into my ear. Turning my head to the side, I step into the bathroom and pull him inside. "I'm having fun, are you not having fun?" I ask and trail my dress up around my waist and watch as he turns around quickly. "What, we can't pee in front of each other?" I ask as I sit on the toilet. "I can give you privacy" he replies as he faces the wall, "I don't need any" I exhale and pull my dress down then wash my hands at the sink. "You're so fuckin drunk right now" Nate mumbles, I roll my eyes and examine my makeup in the mirror. Smoothing out my hair, without looking in his direction, "It's New Year's Eve and I'm celebrating. Don't worry about me, go find your girlfriend" I snarl. Nate grips my arm, "Jayme, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just don't go overboard" he says softly as his eyes connect with mine. "Nathan, I can take care of myself" I reply and pull away from him toward the door. "I wanna forget about everything bad in my life tonight" I add and he follows me out. "Jayme" Nate shouts and I walk away. Emily rushes me as I turn the corner, "What was going on in there?" she asks excitedly. "Nothing, he thinks I'm too drunk" I reply and she looks disappointed when I don't have a scandalous story to tell. "I'm so fuckin sick of men trying to control me, fuck him" I growl, and walk away to the keg. We take turns drinking from the tap and help Nick do a keg stand, as we laugh and spill beer all over the place. Music still blaring I have no idea what time it is, and I just want to keep dancing. Ignoring everyone around me, I feel the tempo and move to the songs. Alexis and her friends gather around and take over the area, as the black light glares in my eyes and I start to feel nauseous. Noticing Nick on the couch, I throw myself next to him and listen to his ongoing conversation. Breaking my daze, Nate stands in front of me with a water bottle, "I'm just returning the favor you know" he says, "For taking care of me the night I was wasted" he adds and then we both laugh. "Well one of us can hold our liquor" I say as I poke him in the stomach. Nate sits down beside me, I sip the water and watch as he waves to Alexis as she dances. "Do you like her?" I ask leaning into his side, "I think I do, yeah" he replies then looks away. With the alcohol fueling in my veins, the words spill out, "I don't wanna to lose you, Nathan. You mean so much to me, and you're the only one that really knows me and what I have been through" I trail off and feel my eyes well up. Nate puts his arm around me, "I know, and you're not gonna lose me. You mean a lot to me too" he replies, and I feel like I could break down. "No one knows me like you do. You're my best friend, stop worrying about losing me" he whispers into my ear. Gathering my emotions, I take a deep breath and realize if I start to cry everyone will notice. "Why didn't you tell me about her?" I ask and he shrugs, "I don't know. She's been trying to get with me for a while" he admits and I scan his eyes, "For how long?" I ask and he pauses, "She hit me up at the beginning of the school year" he confesses and I start to think about how often she would stare us down when we would pass by her. "So you've been seeing her since Halloween?" I ask and he smiles. "Nah, not that long. Over Christmas break when you were working, I got bored" he laughs and I shake my head. "I was about to be pissed if you hid it from me for that long" I nudge his side. "She thought we were dating" he adds and I smirk, "I spend more time with you than anyone else" I remind him and he nods. "Yea, that's why I'm not gonna ditch you for her. I rather chill with you. Plus I've never had a friend like you before" he leans away and reaches for the bong. "A smart and beautiful chick that makes you crazy?" I ask making myself laugh and he starts to laugh too. "Yea, a chick" he replies as he lights up. Blowing the smoke towards me, my thoughts run wild and I stare at him, "You don't like her do you?" he asks and I inhale the smoke hanging in front of me. "If you like her then I'll give her a chance" I say and turn to see Alexis looking our way. Leaving the couch, I approach her and lean in, "I think it's almost midnight, you should take my seat" I say to her and smile back at Nate. Grabbing my purse, I walk to the bathroom to be alone. There are two texts from Tristan asking again if I'll be home tonight, I reply and ask if he wants me to come home. Popping a pill in my mouth, I fix my lip gloss and can hear the midnight countdown begin. As I open the door, everyone is cheering, kissing, and hugging. Once again in a room packed full of people, I feel alone. I am happy for Nate, I truly am, but the fear of losing his friendship makes me anxious. With my mind wandering and my body numb, the commotion in the room is overwhelming. All of a sudden hands smother me as Emily, Nick, and Nate grab me for a group hug. Emily's already wasted so I take her cup, and down it quickly. She leans into me and my purse slips off my shoulder, dropping to the floor. Nate bends over to pick it up and I see the orange pill bottle sticking out and I snatch it from his hands. Our eyes connect and before he can speak, I reach for Emily. "Dance with me" I yell and pull her up on the coffee table. My body feels as if it's floating and this is exactly what I was trying to achieve tonight. Wishing that I could fall into a void and melt away, I close my eyes. Emily falls back and takes me down with her, snapping out of the haze, I laugh as she rolls on top of me. Nick pulls her up and grabs my arm, when I come to my feet I see Nate heading up the stairs with Alexis. Pulling my dress down my thighs, I notice Nick watching me, "He's taking the guest room, don't worry bout him" he assures me. "I should go home soon" I mumble, and he steps up against me, "No one leaves, you know that. You're staying here" he says firmly. Emily stumbles forward, losing her balance and unable to stand, "Yo, she's trashed" Nick exclaims and I help to grab her arm. "I'ma put you two to bed. You can crash in my room with us" he says then we help Emily up the steps. Collapsing down onto the futon in Nick's room, I curl up and pass out.

My head pounds as I open my eyes, Nick and Emily are asleep on the bed across from me. My mouth is dryer than the Sahara desert, and I sit up to look for a clock. Quietly, I make my way to the bathroom and sip from the faucet. The room spins as I lean against the sink and take a deep breath. Anxiety is creeping in and I look up into the mirror to see my makeup smudged around my eyes. Careful not to wake anyone, I tiptoe barefoot through the kitchen to the cabinet where they hide our keys. Fishing mine out, I sneak out the front door and walk briskly to my car. Waiting for the heat to kick in, I shiver from the cold and check the clock on the dash. It's still dark out and barely dawn, I have no idea how long I slept but my stomach starts to turn. The frigid air takes my breath away, I push open the door and throw up onto the ice-slicked pavement. Knowing that I may still be drunk, I drive home steadily and slowly. As I pull into the driveway, I see Tristan's car and another in my spot. Parking on the street, I'm reluctant to go inside now that I know he is home. My head aches as I quickly step across the frost-covered lawn barefoot, holding my sneakers and my purse. Unlocking the door, I set down my belongings and look around. Nothing seems out of place but there are beer bottles scattered across the coffee table. Switching on the hallway light, I stand at the bedroom door and push it open. A mess of brunette hair lies next to Tristan's bare torso and my heart flutters. Flipping on the lamp, I push his arm until I see his eyes open, "What are you doing here?" he groans.