grief (1)

bargaining

dear quinn,

i would give anything to bring you back. i know everyone who knew you would too. i went to your house. your mom cried. it made me cry. your mom let me go into your room.

i found the pair of earbuds we always shared on the bus. and your pile of records, the ones that were always playing whenever i came over. they weren't playing anymore. that made me cry even more.

i found a box, it was full of the notes we passed in class. it made me smile a bit to see you kept them. you were always sentimental like that. i love you for it.

and the thing that made me sob was seeing the promise ring i gave you on your birthday. it was just sitting there, on your desk. and it hurt. because the promise was broken. and I couldn't even ask you why.

i just want you back. i would do anything, give anything to see you again. just to hear your laugh. to see your smile. to hold your hand.

i miss you so much. i wish i were the one that's gone. i would give my life if it meant you could come back. but you can't.

love, leo