grief (1)

depression

dear quinn,

i haven't left my room in days. i just can't handle being in the world without you, the looks people give me, the reminders of you. i can't handle it anymore.

i must look like shit. i know if you were here, you'd tell me to get off my ass. but i can't. and it doesn't matter anyways because you aren't here.

and even though it hurts, and makes me cry, all i've done is look at that photo book. at all the pictures you took. the moments you captured.

i always end up forcing myself to stop though, because i start thinking about how you'll never take another picture again.

sometimes i wonder how it felt for you to die. i think i understand why you did it now because i don't think life is worth living anymore either. this must be how you felt.

my mom and dad are worried about me but i can't bring myself to care. they keep asking me if i'm okay. am i okay? i don't even know anymore.

i just want to stop missing you. maybe i need to forget about you.

actually, no. i think i'd die if i forgot you.

love, leo