{POV: Socrates is at war. he is sacrificing his life for athens rn. pray for socrates guys 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 1 prayer = 1 kiss for socrates}
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{SOURCE: Wikipedia.com}
...
It is 432BC (BC = Before Christ, but socrates doesnt know who christ is yet, so shhhhh dont tell him). Athenian soldiers are marching into Potidaea like toy soldiers being marched into battle by a child.
At the front of the soldier squad are Archie Straightus and Cali Ass. General Straightus is as sexy as a grossly misrepresentative statue of a Roman emperor. General Ass looks more like a real Roman emperor; slimey and a little bit grimey. The souldiers stop all of a sudden. They are stopped by a wall.
General Straightus: Fuck!
General Ass: A wall!
General Straightus: Well, guess we have to go home...
The men start to march home wen socrates yells out:
Socrates: I am yelling out right now!
The men all stop in aww of soc. they wait for him to continue
Socrates: lets climb over the wall!
All the men start clapping and cheering, socrates has saved them!
Random solger: socrates, you are so sexy and i am in love with you
Socrates: I'm taken 🥴
Random solgier: *cries*
All the men follow socrates as they climb up the wall.
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{SOURCE: My mom took this action shot of me (socrates) wen i wos climin the wall}
They finish climbin the wall and jump to the floor when oh no! 😱 itz the evil corinthians and potidaea-ans 👿👿👿
Corinthian general, Ari Stoos, does an evil smile.
Evil Stoos: time to die, u stupid athenians
Socrates: I think you'll find, your argument is not cogent and ur statement is inferentially incorrect!
Socrates stabs stoos. stoos cries like a dumb stupid baby.
Stoos: goo goo gaa gaa waaaaaaaaaaa
Stoos dies.
Stoos: 😵
The corinthians and potidaeaeaeaeeaeans all cry in unison. A chorus of waa's, if you will. Then they run away like stupid little babies. 🏃♀️ 🏃 🏃♂️🏃♀️ 🏃 🏃♂️🏃♀️ 🏃 🏃♂️ (look, their running away!!!
But then -- oh no!!!!! -- a sneak attack!!! 👅
A corinthian dude tries to stab Al Key Bee Aidees (student of Soc)!!!!!!!!! Soc will not stand for this nonsense.
Socrates: *stands up*
Al Key Bee Aidees cries out for help!!!!!!
Al Key Bee Aidees: HELP!!!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! IM ABOUT TO FUCKIN DIE!!!!!!!!
Socrates realises he is the only one cool enouf sexy enouf and strong enouf to save his student from death.
Socrates: *standing between corinthian dude and al key* the power of philosophical truth compels you!!!!!
The corinthian dude disintegrates into dust. he has been compelled by the power of philosophy.
Al Key Bee Aidees; o soc,, how can i eva repai u??
Socrates: u can call by my house when my wife isnt home ;)
Al Key: ... 👀 👁
Socrates has saved all of athens. he will be crowned king of the world tomorrow.
