Unrequited

Chapter 7

Now that we were in eighth, I felt older and important. We all did. More studies and it was exciting. The teachers were annoying when they taught but sweet when they didn't.

I made new friends. Old friendships grew stronger. Life was at ease. My parents were happy with my grades. Just one thing nagged me. One small fear.

Were Ayaan and I growing apart? We didn't spend as much time together. We didn't even speak for days together. Our arguments had increased.

He would threaten me that he would break up. And I would be scared to death. It would hurt me to even think about a life without him.

A stipple sized void had opened up in my stomach. But it would cover itself up whenever Ayaan would hold me close and apologise.

"I love you, I would never leave you, you know that." He would say and all my tears would dry up. I felt incomplete without him next to me.

Maybe one would say that I was too dependent on him for my own happiness but well...then so be it.

After one such stormy fight of ours, I slumped home, feeling exhausted, mentally. I hated fighting with Ayaan. Hated it. And he knew it! Too well!

But he wouldn't stop. I would catch him flirting with some girl I disliked (which had become more frequent), and he would brush it away casually which hurt. Tears would prick the corner of my eyes and threaten to spill, and he would explode.

"Why have you become so insecure?! It's ok! Damn! Can't I just be friends with anyone?"

"But that wasn't a friendly flirt, Ayaan", I would retort. And there! He would go on and on about how I was jealous and could never trust him and blah blah blah.

I plopped down on my bed and let tears flow freely. I clutched my knees close to my chest trying to keep the now bigger void in my stomach from ripping. Where had I gone wrong? What had I done wrong?

We were perfect! I didn't understand how our relationship was spiralling down, down, down. Without a catch, without a warning. And yet, I could not find myself disliking him even a tad bit. It just kept hurting, paining, aching.

After a few hours of crying, I stood in front of the mirror. Red eyes, swollen to the point of popping out, hair messed up, half pulled out of the two pony tails, face blotchy and ugly. I looked at myself with disgust.

"You ugly, ugly girl. Don't you look disgusting?!", I said to the reflection.

Yes, you do.

Shut up Kira!!

But its true!!

Fuck you!

And that's you.

"Ughhh"

Suddenly I got an impulsive thought. Makeover! I could try on a new look. Maybe go for a haircut or hair straightening, curling could also do the job.

Swiftly, I changed into a white t-shirt and black shorts, grabbed my wallet, called out to Mumma, told her I was going for a haircut and jogged out the door.