STUCK IN REALITY

hours past that evening and no sign of hope given

people were called and search had begun

i called and texted over and over

waiting is never a fun or easy thing to do

until the phone rang

I answered the phone hand shaking

time slowed in an instance and I couldn't hear anything anymore

I dropped the phone shaking my head slowly

time seemed to have stopped

mouths in the room moved but no words could be heard

my body began to shake as I fell to the floor tears falling from my face

things in life are so precious

I sat on the floor alone for what felt like forever

the words replaying in my head

I was finally held in someone's arms

but tighter than usual

I would have to go through this feeling yet again

but this one i knew would never leave

everyone was holding each other on the floor

our lives changed and it affected two individuals most

words replayed over and over

'we're sorry....she was found dead'

i couldn't protect her

i promised her i would and i couldn't

she was gone

we were finally moving in the right direction and things took the worst turn

another person i loved...gone

'i wont get to tell you what i needed you to know'

lyrics i wrote when i lost my best friend years before and now i've lost the love of my life

'you're all that's on my mind when i've called a thousand times'

she was gone

i looked at quin and i knew i would keep my promise

she really took her life to save ours

hours passed and police flooded my apartment as i stayed in my room looking at her stuff

the photo book she made me.....all of the photos of her and quin

without knowing more tears fell and they didn't stop

i looked through my dresser drawer pulling out the promise ring i was going to give her that night

i took it out of the box and knew i still wanted her to have it

i sat with the ring in my hand

a knock on the door made me turn my head

finneas walked in sitting by me with quin

he held me close to him as he cried too

"we'll get through this together okay"

he said through his voice cracking

why does life have to be this way for some people

why does it have to hurt so badly

why do we have to miss people

why do they have to leave so painfully

-

as time sadly moved forward a funeral was planned

i stood up there ready for my speech but before that i walked up and looked at her

hoping she would wake up even though i knew it wasn't gonna happen

i grabbed her hand with mine shaking as i placed the promise ring on her finger before carefully letting go

"we met at a dog park my dog picked her out"

i giggled lightly while tears fell

"that's when we first met....then i started coming over and we eventually kissed and that's when everything started....she was just the worlds prettiest girl...she was really when i knew i was gay"

people giggled

"she changed me and accepted me even through my crazy life and i loved her for that...we did almost everything together we kissed we made love she comforted me and everything until i fucked up.....she left and in that 3 years i was the worst me ive ever known....but finneas finding her again made everything great and i knew i was gonna fix my mistakes and i was....she changed me she really did and i hate that i'm up here and that we have to be here....she didn't deserve this at all and i will never be able to get with anyone else...i still roll over in bed going to grab her waist only to remember she's not here...her hoodies lost her scent and its breaking me....i use her shampoo or her body wash in the shower just trying to get anything of her back...i promised her i would look after and raise quin and i stand by it i am and forever will....what hurts worse is her killer is still living their life out in the world...and i hope they feel guilty i hope they know how much they've hurt everyone....i wanted to take my life just to be with her and i almost did but i knew i couldn't do that to quin and i knew that so many people need me and most importantly i knew she wants me here"

i was crying harder

"please tell everyone you love them take risks go out and do something because you only have one life and this is proof that it could be taken at any given moment so please live everyday like it could be you last please hug and kiss them everyday even if you are mad at them please"

i ask before i finish and sit down by finneas sobbing

life doesn't get easier unless you want and work for it to

i held my now daughter in my arms as she wiped my tears with her tiny arms

she didn't understand what was going on and i dreaded the day i would have to tell her

i kissed her head hugging her as the ceremony continued

I looked over in one of the doorways and saw her

she smiled at me slightly while waving as i weakly smiled back

i looked down at quin and looked back up she was gone again

i knew she was in my heart and that's all that mattered

but all i know is that we really are Stuck in reality and there's no possible way out

-

Thank you for reading 'stuck in reality'

i hope you enjoyed the book and im working on a new one currently

please take this chapter as a lesson and really let it sink in

feel free to dm my other acc @imagine_addictangels

i will always reply and would love to talk to everyone

just remember you're never alone <3

-thepartysoverr