Avengers imagines/oneshots

Bucky- All good things come to an end

(Trigger warning: self-harm, eating disorder, blood, suicide)

I could smell the scent of sizzling bacon coming from the other room. A whiff of maple syrup filled my bedroom as I heard my boyfriend singing from the kitchen. A smile spread across my face. The first one I had in weeks.

As I heard him walking down the hallway to our room, I pretended to be asleep. Something I did on a regular basis. I loved my boyfriend but social contact was never something I loved.
I heard the doorknob jiggle as he entered the room. I felt the bed dip as he nudged me slightly.

"Hey doll are you awake?"

I still pretended to sleep. He kicked my forehead, wiping away the loose strands of hair from it.
I figured now would be a good time to talk, he wasn't going away either way now.

I started to move, now laying on my back. I could feel his broad body over mine, blocking the sunlight.
I opened my eyes to see his soft face hovering over mine. I laid on his arm as he stroked my hair.

"Hi"
I leaned up kissing him on the cheek, getting out of bed to use the restroom.

"I brought you food baby."

I sat on the side of the bed, not having the strength to lift myself.

"I'm uh. I'm not hungry but thank you buck." A lie
I finally conjured the energy to bring myself to stand, still holding onto the bed post for support.

Bucky could tell something was wrong. This wasn't the woman he fell in love with. Even though he still loved her and would never stop, he hated seeing her hurt herself.

"Please eat something, you haven't eaten in days. Are you sick, do you not feel good?"

I just shook my head leaning on the bathroom door post. "I'm just not hungry." Another lie.

He sighed, knowing he couldn't force you to.
"Alright doll well I gotta meet up with Steve, big meeting today you know aliens and all that."

I chuckled still realizing his line of work was definitely out of the ordinary.

"I love you doll face."  He kissed my forehead, pulling me into him. I took in his scent, Mint and coconut. A weird mixture but for me it's what made me love him even more.

He pulled away, "I love you too James."

He gave me a small confused look, i never called him James. But he brushed it off knowing he had to meet Steve.
He picked up his jacket and his bike keys, turning to look at me one last time before he headed out, "foods right there, you know if you want it. I'll be back before you know it doll."

I smiled, giving him a small wave, entering the bathroom after he left. I leaned over the sink, flushing some cold water on my face. 'Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.'

A voice in my head kept repeating over and over.
Until the voice stopped, and all I could hear was 'you have no other choice BUT TO do it.'

I sat down on the side of the tub, filling the hot water to the rim. I grabbed a razor blade out of the side of the vanity, sitting it on the side.

I stared at it for a moment before slipping my robe off, leaving me in only a small black nightgown.
I rested into the tub, the water almost burning my skin to how hot it was. My head laid on the back of it, starting into the ceiling. I sat up grabbing the razor blade from the side, for a moment hesitating.

Was I really about to do this? Leave Bucky by himself. But no he had Steve and all the other avengers he would be okay. I had no one.

I started to press the cold steel into my arm. Starting at the top, slicing to the bottom. The water started to turn crimson as my screams filled the bathroom air. I'm sure my neighbors heard me, but I didn't care.

My chest was heaving up and down and I moved the razor blade into my other hand, blood gushing from the cut on that arm.

I screamed as I started the trace the metal down, I heard a thump outside the bathroom, not caring. It was probably my cat, alpine.

I stopped for a second hovering over my arm before pressing it down again, this time going all the way. My screaming and sobbing overflowed my hears. When I heard someone else scream that wasn't me.

"Y/N?! What's wrong?!" It was Bucky. I could tell he was trying to get through the locked door. I dropped the razor blade over the tub as I laid my head back, slowly slipping into darkness.

My eyes closed, I heard the door bust. I suddenly felt hands on my arms, covering the wounds.

"Y/n! No please come on stay with me doll. Don't leave me baby."

I opened my eyes to see a extremity worried Bucky towering over me, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Let me go." I lifted my hand to his face, blood spilling all over him, an the white tile floor.

"No, n-no I won't let you go."
He was sobbing at this point.

My eyelids felt heavy as he lifted me bringing me into his lap on the floor. My nightgown now pressed against my body from the water.

He grabbed towels trying to slow the bleeding, knowing he most likely wouldn't be able to.

I opened my eyes one more time to meet his, "Bucky. Promise me something."

He was frantically moving, trying to wrap anything and everything he could.
"Anything doll, anything."

"Promise me you'll be happy, you won't blame yourself, you won't isolate yourself, you will find love again."

He clutched his arms on mine, still trying to believe he could save me. His blue steel eyes still shining through the tears.

"No- NO! Because this isn't the end. Do not say goodbye to me! I'm not loosing you y/n!!"

I dropped my arm on his chest, pulling his shirt with whatever strength I had left. I stared into his blue orbs, knowing he was going to be okay.

"Bucky i love yo-"
My chest stilled, my eyes glossed, I took my last breath telling my soulmate I loved him.

"NOOO!!!!" Bucky cried as he pulled me to his chest. I could see it, like i was floating above my body, watching over him.

He was sobbing, clutching onto my body.
I knew he was devastated, but I knew he would be okay. And one day he would realize,

I'm now at peace.