Love, Passion & Anorexia

Hidden colors

Jungkooks pov

Jungkook heard the door to his room open and paniced, thinking it might be a nurse checking on him since he had taken so long in the shower.

He quickly washed the red on his arm until the water ran clean again, grabbed the stained blade and dropped it into his hiding place.

Turning the water off, he took an old, stained bandage and wrapped the spots where the sharpness of his razor had ripped his fragile skin apart, hissing quietly as he applied just enough pressure to help the bleeding stop.

He dressed himself in the clothes he felt most comfortable with and excited the bathroom.

He was surprised to find an unfamiliar face instead of a nurse on the other bed, scanning the room with a bored expression, until it dawned on him; he was supposed to get a new roommate today.

A relieved sigh left the bunnys mouth as he put on his most glittering fake smile.

The blonde didn't appear very social, so Jungkook turned to his bed and slid over a hoodie to hide his new cuts, while he eyed the stranger over his shoulder.

He couldn't help but notice him staring at his dirty bandage, knowing the nurses would find out about his relapse, even if the other didn't tell.

The black haired wrapped his dripping, fresh smelling hair in a towled before he turned back to his roommate.

"So, what's your name? Can I help you with anything?"

The blondes eyes wondered up, studying Jungkooks pretty face a while before he responded. "I'm Jimin, nice to meet you ... I guess."

He struggled to say anything else, his head sank back down.

Jungkook looked at his tired face, malnutritioned figure and skinny legs. His bones were prominent through his skin.

The raven haired gave him a weak smile. "It can be hard here at first. But give it a few weeks, it gets easier."

Jimin lifted his head upon hearing the word 'weeks'.

"How long have you been here, if you don't mind me asking?"

The bunny giggled, shame glazing his next words. "Almost two years."

As much as the older tried, he couldn't hide his shook. "Two years? Why for so long?"

Jungkooks teeth glistened in an angelic white as he smiled, eyes pinned on the floor where he didn't have to see the others piercing stare, although he could feel them stabbing him like knives. "Well, at first it was only two months, but I had to come back four times. It's now been a year since they last let me go. They said I would accidentally kill myself out there. Though I would not be dumb enough to die on accident.", His smile faded, leaving an expression of pain. Pain thats been home in Jungkooks heart for longer than he dared to remember. "I really wonder which would kill me first."

Jimin stayed silent for a moment, letting Jungkooks words sink in. "Is that why you have that bandage around your arm?"

"Partially. Please don't tell the nurses."

"I won't." Jimin said immediatly, his eyes fixed on the youngers face until he looked back up shyly.

A minute passed with no one saying anything, no one moving. Until Jungkook killed the silence. "It's almost dinner time. Come on."

Jimin didn't move, his eyes finding distraction in the dimming clouds outside the autumn sky.

"I'm not hungry."

The feartures in Jungkooks face softened once again. "I know. But trust me, you're better off with a 500 kcal meal than a feeding tube."

The blonde knew he was right. So Jimin fought against the voices screaming at him not to give in and followed Jungkook to the dinning area, where a few people were already waiting. Some so sickly skinny that Jimin wondered how their bones weren't giving in, others so big it made his stomach turn. 'If I ever looked like this I'd kill myself', he thought, catching a glimpse of Jungkooks concerned eyes as if he heard his thoughts. 'Ah, right.', he remembered. 'He's the suicidal kind. I think. Or what else could he have meant?'

Jimins thoughts kept spinning, so much so, that he didn't notice taking a seat across from the younger until steaming food was set down infront of the boy, along with a name tag.

* PARK Jimin

Born 1995/10/13

Busan *

On the plate were mashed potatoes, peas with carrots and a large piece of fried chicken.

Jimin almost threw up at the sight. A fork in his tiny hands, he started crushing every single pea, some escaping his fork and sliding across the plate.

Jungkook chewed on a piece of chicken, watching the other concerned.

"You should at least clear the vegetables. The nurses will note it if you don't eat enough, you know."

Jimin shot him a furius glare.

The food on his plate appeared bigger with every second. Jungkooked sighed. "Look, I'll tackle your potatoes if you eat the peas and carrots."

Jimins face softened, eyeing his enemy below him. He suddenly didn't feel as sick anymore.

"Is it alright if i look at you while I ... eat?"

The younger seemed confused at first. but then turned around to find the nurses distracted as they laughed and told each other stories with frantic gestures. He turned back around and quickly snatched Jimins potatoes. "Sure."

Jimins heart felt light, his cheecks flushed with a burning red. "Thanks ...", he mumbled, taking in the peas first.

He couldn't help but calculate every calorie that entered him.

After they were done, Jimin excused himself to go to the bathroom. A nurse stopped him. "You can't use the restrooms for 30 minutes after meal times. I'm sorry, but it's the rules."

Sudden panic started setting in as he realized that by the time we would be allowed again, he wouldn't be able to purge much back up again.

Jungkook watched the scene go down from the dinning room before he approached the blonde.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. It was only peas and carrots. Trust me, that won't make you gain anything. Come on, let's step ouside for a bit."

"But we aren't allowed that either.", Jimin pointed out.

"Yes.", Jungkook smiled sweetly. "But the smoking area is always available."

The blonde scoffed. "I don't smoke."

'I'm sure you don't. But I do. It helps with the stress and all. Also helps wonders against hunger.", the bunny winked, then turned on his heels to go ouside. He didn't have to look around to know the other followed him with not much of another choice.