why'd you only call me when you're high - muke

luke

i hear the familiar ring of my phone and look to see that michael is calling. i listen to my phone ring and soon see my screen dim and the room fills with silnce. my screen lights up again as i see a notification pop up on my phone. it's a text from michael.

"come over lukey"

and another

"pretty please"

i roll over and try to fall back asleep. i'm not doing this anymore. it hurts. i want him so bad, but he only wants me when it's convenient for him. only when he's high. why's he only call me when he's high? i turn my phone off and stare up at the ceiling, and sigh. i close my eyes and let my thoughts wander off as i fall in to a deep sleep.

-

i roll over, looking at the rays of sunlight beaming through my window. i grab my phone and power it on, notifications from michael beging rolling in, most of them asking if i'm ignoring him and why i don't want to come over.

i get out of bed and walk through my aprtment until my feet hit the cold linoleum of my kitchen floor, i quickly grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink and head towards my couch. i sit down, slowly drinking my water and staring through my sliding-glass window out onto my blacony. i try to think of what i should do today and i decide that today is the day i go tell michael that i shouldn't see him anymore.

see, mihcael and i met in highschool and we were basically inseperable. we did everything together. he was there for me through everything, even when i came out to my parents and they kicked me out. michael and his family were nice enough to let me stay with them. that's when it all started, i slowly fell in love with micahel and i thought he felt the same. maybe at one point he did, but now all he cares about is drugs. once michael's dad got sick right after we graduated he started hanging out with shady people and doing shady things. i watched my best friend and love of my life slowly slip away from me and it shattered me. now, michael only calls when he wants late night sex, and the sad part is, i agree too. i would do anything for michael just to get him back the way we used to be. the way we used to be so close. i miss that. i miss being able to tell him anything and being able to rely on him. we barely talk anymore, expect for his benefit. there's some nights when we're done that michael will roll over and wrap his arms around me and give me soft kisses and tell me how much he loves me, but i know it's just the lust and drugs talking. when michael is sober he wants absolutely nothing to do with me.

i get up from the couch and walk to my bathroom, getting in the shower and letting the water freeze me until it finally heats up. i let the warm steam engulf me. i do my business and get out. i run my towel over myself to get dry and then quickly towel dry my hair. i walk to my room and slip on some jeans and a random band shirt, grabbing a pair of socks off my dresser on the way out. i grab my converse and put them on before grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter.

while walking down the stairs a million thoughts are going through my head. i unlock my car and get in. i lay my head on the steering wheel and sign, the overwhelming feeling of sadness and dread engulfing my body. i don't want to stop seeing michael, but it's for my own good. i start my car and begin driving towards michael's apartment.

i slowly walk up three flights of stairs until i get to michael's door. i stand there trying to hear if michael is up, and soon catch a small sound which i soon register as michael's TV. if he's up that probably mean's he's already high, which is the last thing i need. the drugs seem to be the only thing that keep him happy anymore, and that breaks me even more. i know i could make michael happy if he would just let me try. i take a deep breath and knock on the door, half hoping he won't open the door, but he does.

there he stands, in sweats and a shirt that is a size or two too large. the drugs have shaved a good few pounds from him, and you can see the tiredness and sadness in his eyes.

"michael, we need to-"

"hey, baby," he says with a smile as he grabs my hand and pulls me inside.

i look to his living room table, which is scattered with bottles of pills, small bags, razor blades, rolling papers, and empty cans. i go to speak but before i can even open my mouth, michael places his hand under my chin and brings his lips to mine, and before i can even think, i fall in love all over again.

-

This chapter is kind of short but i'm super excited for this story!!!