Frankie Morales-Fire

Chapter 7

T/W: Some minor sexual content.

"Youu are not," I say. "Taking me up into any helicopter, Morales. No frickin way."

"I'm a good pilot," Frankie argues.

"I don't care if you have a gold medal in flying. I refuse to get in one of those things. They scare the shit out of me."

"It can be just as dangerous to get behind the wheel of a car," Frankie says.

"Maybe. But when I'm in a car, I'm closer to the ground. Up in a helicopter, I'd be several feet up in the air. And just thinking about that makes my skin crawl." Frankie scowls at me.

"You're one hell of a stubborn woman, you know that?"

"What tipped you off, dumbass?" Frankie grabs me by the waist, holding me up against his body.

I start to squirm away, but Frankie refuses to let me loose. I fight harder.

"Let go of me," I snap. Frankie just smiles.

"Name one good reason why I should?"

"Uh, well, I could kick you in the balls," I say. Frankie laughs.

"Try it, Grace." I slowly raise my knee up and it connects with Frankie's crotch.

"Ah!" He releases his hold on me. I smirk.

"Never try to restrain me, Morales. You'll end up with more trouble than it's worth." Frankie glares at me.

"That just wasn't right!"

"Oh, boo hoo," I say sarcastically. "The big man can't take it!" Frankie grabs for me again, but I'm too quick.

"You're a nasty little bitch, Grace."

"So dump my sorry ass," I retort.

"Not on your life." I walk over to Frankie and put his arms around me as I snuggle against his chest. He kisses my head.

"I'm gonna marry you someday," Frankie murmurs softly. I jerk backwards.

"Uh, excuse you?!" Frankie touches my face.

"You heard me."

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep."

"Oh, I have every intention of keeping that promise." I punch him in the arm.

"Shove it up your ass," I snap.

"Same to you, Luna. Oh, and do not underestimate me. I WILL get up in a chopper."

"Like hell you will."
.....
Frankie hasn't been around for the last week. He had to go help out his buddies again. At least he gave me a heads up this time.

I try not to mind too much. After all, I'm a big girl and I can look after myself. I've looking after myself for years.

I remember when I discovered I was pregnant with Nova. I cried for two weeks straight. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to provide for her. I even considered giving her up for adoption.

In the end, though, I KNOW I made the right decision by keeping her. She's my entire world. I'm nothing without my baby. I love her so much and I can't imagine my life without her.

Now Frankie, on the other hand, I probably could live without him. Sure, I've come to care about him. But he's not my entire world, the way Nova is.

He's mostly a distraction for me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing the right thing by getting so close to him.

It's hard for me to open up to people. I prefer to keep all my shit bottled up inside and just figure it out on my own instead of expecting somebody else to come along and help me figure it out.

This has caused some disagreements between Kayla and me. Since she's my best friend, she thinks she needs to help me out when I come up against a problem.

A lot of the time, I end getting pissed off at her because I hate having to admit that I can't handle the problem on my own. It makes me feel weak admitting I need help.

Of course, in the end, I usually cave and allow her to help me out, even though it annoys the shit out of me.

So it's tough now that Frankie's around. Kayla seems to think that Frankie can help me. That's not the case. I don't need him butting into my life and thinking he can just settle into that role of acting like my second half and pretending to be like my-husband.
......
I'm watching Frankie play with Nova. He's actually pretty good at that. And Nova adores him. She's always grinning at him and grabbing for his face and hands and clinging to his shirt or trying to pull his baseball cap off of his or stealing his sunglasses.

Frankie is putting the sunglasses on Nova's tiny face. She grins, reaching up to pull them off.

"You're silly," Frankie tells her. Nova laughs and tries to put the sunglasses on herself.

Frankie tries to help her and she gets pissed, pushing his hands away. I laugh.

"Just like her mama," Frankie remarks. "Can't accept any help from a guy."

"I'm raising my daughter to be a strong, independent woman who can look after herself," I retort.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Frankie says. "But there's also nothing wrong with accepting some help now and again, too."

Nova crawls over to me and I lift her up, burying my face against her sweet smelling hair. Nova's hair is dark brown, like mine. And it's getting longer.

I hold her close, but she starts to squirm so I set her back down on the floor. She quickly crawls back over to Frankie, grabbing on to his shirt and pulling herself into a standing position.

"Yeah!" Frankie praises her. "Look at what Miss Nova did all by herself." Nova giggles and reaches for Frankie's cap, yanking it off his head. She has a smug smile on her face as she waves the cap in Frankie's face.

He laughs and kisses her cheek. I get this weird feeling inside me. I'm not even sure what I'd call it. Longing? Loneliness?

As I watch Frankie interact with Nova, I can't be sure, but maybe what I'm feeling is-the ache of knowing what having a family can be like. I quickly douse the feeling, refusing to give in to it.

I can't allow myself to start hoping for something that may or may not happen. I just can't. It'll hurt too much if I do.