Frankie Morales-Fire

Chapter 8

"Our job will be done soon," Frankie tells a couple of weeks later.

"What will you do afterwards?" I ask. I realize I'm scared of what his response will be. Will he-take off, leaving me in a thousand shattered pieces?

Or will he agree to-stick around, like he said he would?

"Stay here with you," Frankie says, stroking my cheek. His touch is so gentle. Every time I feel it, I just about lose my shit. I wish I wasn't being such a weakling and allowing myself to fall under his spell so easily.

I get pissed at myself for doing that. I don't need him. I don't need ANYONE. Except Nova. I move away.

"Are you positive that's what you want to do?" I demand. "What if you change your mind? What if you decide you can't take anymore of my shit? What if being around Nova more starts to get on your nerves? What if you start to get-restless and decide you want out and you want to go back to your old life?"

"Whoa, slow your roll, Luna," Frankie says. "All of those things are a possibility. But believe me when I say this, I want a life with you and Nova. I want to help you out not just financially, but also mentally and emotionally. I want to be your go-to guy. For as long as we have left on this planet."

I stare at him. He doesn't mean THAT, I think. He's only saying those things so I'll fall in love with him and then when I least expect it, he'll take off, disappearing into thin air and I'll NEVER see him again.

I shake my head and Frankie frowns.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I WANT to, Frankie. But I'm so scared you'll just leave me alone and I won't be able to put myself back together again." I'm crying by now. Frankie pulls me into his arms and just holds me.

He doesn't speak. He just holds me while I cry. What he said before to me about how I just treat everyone like shit because it's easier than letting anyone in. That's true.

I learned a long time ago to not trust men. I was scared if I broke down all those walls I took so many years to build up, then I'd be out there, completely vulnerable and nothing to protect myself with.

Frankie strokes my hair as I cry.

"Look, I don't know what Nova's father did to you, Luna. But I'm not him. Yeah, I'm a man. And yeah, I'm gonna screw up on occasion. Who doesn't? But you need to let me prove to you that I can be the good guy. Not just some douchebag who's gonna screw you over the second I get a chance to."

I remove myself from Frankie's arms and stand there, looking into his face. I never thought about it too much, but he has a kind face. Yeah, there's lines and wrinkles and rough patches.

But it's still a kind looking face. A tender looking face. A gentle looking face. I remember how he looks at Nova when he's cradling her in his strong arms. He's a good man. He HAS proved that to me several times. I just refused to see it because I'm so damn stubborn and tried to only see the bad instead of the good.

I wipe my face and move back to Frankie.

"It's gonna take me some time, Frankie. I'll try to get past distrust of you and let you be the man I know you are. But I can't change overnight."

Frankie hugs me tight. He kisses my head.

"I understand, Lu. We'll just take it a day at a time. We have the rest of our lives to figure it out. There's no rush."
.....
We're about to open up the bar. One thing I've always been glad if, since it's a bar and we stay open so damn late, we don't open back up until after two in the afternoon. That way we can get some sleep. (Unless of course, you have a little baby who likes to keep you up.)

I'm setting the chairs down, while Kayla is pouring the beer nuts into the bowls and setting them out. Angel and Rita are bringing up bags of chips and jars of salsa from the back and getting those ready.

And Frankie, what's he doing? He's holding Nova and dancing with her on the dance floor. I stop what I'm doing every once in a while to watch them.

Nova is happy and laughing as Frankie twirls in a circle. He has the biggest, stupidest grin on his face. He'll lean close to Nova and kiss her cheek or head.

Is this what's it like when you have a normal life? A life where you don't have to work yourself into an early grave, struggling to make ends meet, day in and day out?

Is this how it could be for Nova to actually grow up with a father in her life? A father who can tell her bedtime stories and teach her how to drive a car and to pick up the pieces of her first broken heart?

A father who can give her away when she gets married and have her father daughter dance, just like they are right now?

It's a strange thought. I never saw that happening for her. I always figured I'd have to be the mother AND the father. That I would do all those things.

And I still can. But it might be nice for her to grow up with a daddy. A loving, caring, protective, strong yet gentle father, that she can look up to.

"You had better not make my daughter puke, Morales," I warn. "Because if you do, you're gonna find out real quick what being a dad is all about. Especially a dad of a baby."

Frankie looks over at me.

"I've dealt with a hell of a lot worse than puke, Luna. I think I can handle it." I just shake my head at him.

All men think they're so damn tough. That is until they have to face a pile of vomit. Then suddenly, they lose their nerve.
***
Frankie is officially done with his 'job.' I'm not sure I believe him, but I know that's the old me, immediately thinking the negative about everything.
....
"I want to invest in the bar, Luna," Frankie springs on me. I do a double take.

"Say, what now?"

"I want to become a partner in the bar," Frankie says. I frown.

"Why?"

"Well, if we're gonna be a couple, I don't see why I shouldn't. What do you think?" Frankie studies me. "Bad idea?"

"I don't know if I'd necessarily say it's a bad idea, Frankie. But we need to sit down with Kayla and talk things over with her. After all, she owns half of the bar." Frankie nods.

"Absolutely. I completely agree. If she doesn't want me to, I won't. But I'd really like to." I give him a quick hug.

"I'll text her and see what she says. If she agrees, we'll talk." Frankie kisses the top of my head.

"Okay."