that certain boy I meet

Taking back our bright golden light

Benjamin was good, he was still smiling and forgetting the fact he got in a horrible accident the night before. He kept laughing every time Nathe made a joke, and for my relief, if he didn't come with me, I'm sure the four of us would start to cry or be silent the minutes we spent inside the room. Nathe was bringing back a light that shined across the room and turned everything more enjoyable and cheerful, making us forget that my brother was going to spend a few more days inside that depressing building.

I could feel how slowly my concern disappeared while Nathe was close to me, hearing him make jokes about some random stuff and how happy Benjamin looked because of its humor, and also my parents were having fun too. Finally, there was someone that was making all serious situations look and feel less desperate and concerning in comparison with its gravity. Knowing that he was around, I could feel how the golden light was coming back to comfort me whenever I needed it. He's the only person I could ever feel that would be able to smile during the most chaotic disaster, bringing a bright ray of sunlight shining just between us.

***

We went to a bakery to drink tea and eat some sweet pastries. I needed to get distracted with something so he suggested going and having a snack in a beautiful and with french style bakery near the hospital. There were always places he named that I never heard about before, he had an entire list of lovely places he knew I would love to visit no matter how bad I personally feel.

- This tea it's good -. He said while leaving the cup on the table.- How's yours? -.

- It's also really good, it gives me a wave of relaxation and calmness that I needed -. I replied, barely smiling and still feeling a little concerned.

- That's the point of drinking tea, giving you the peace that no other drink would give you -. He said looking at me with his bright green eyes.- I don't understand why some of the people prefer to let their organism lose control instead of looking up for the peace they internally need -.

- It depends, you know -. I said looking around.- Sometimes it's fun to lose a bit of control without getting concerned, but yeah, sometimes it's too much and that's why I agree with you -.

- You're right, Bel, I have to admit that losing a bit of control sometimes it's enjoyable -. He said smiling and looking at the bakery admiring its decoration.- But I still prefer to be relaxed than feeling my cells jump around my organism -.

I nodded and drank another sip of Jasmine tea. There was also a piece of carrot cake for two in the center, next to a little glass with roses.

- How are you feeling, Bel? -. Nathe asked while looking at me concerned.- Do you want to do something else? -.

- I'm better than before, honestly -. I replied smiling and staring at him.- You made too much for us and I don't need you to get more concerned about the situation, it's better to get calm and just appreciate we're together and you didn't leave my side -.

- I don't have any problem making everything to make you feel better, I like to see you smile -. He said taking my hand on the table.- I won't get exhausted about it, Bellerose -.

- You're so cute sometimes, Nathe, it makes your tender side come out -. I said, barely laughing and being grateful for his words.

He blushed and smiled looking down and I could see how long his eyelashes were, so beautiful and refined. We stayed staring at each other for a long time, admiring our faces and still holding our hands. It was like bringing back those infinite galaxies and letting the shooting stars travel around again. He was the brightest star I ever let born inside my constellation, with his precious smile and his delightful way to talk to me. It was like forgetting about the pain but still remembering that something shook my soul until it made me fall underground with its chains.

He stayed with me until the next day to make sure I wasn't worse than before. I was so grateful to have him next to me because it made it possible to laugh and be less tense than yesterday when the first thing I heard when I woke up was that my brother had an injury. I still had my mom's words rounding through my thoughts provoking me to be alert to any petty event that was taking place in my surroundings, I was getting so concerned about the fact that I actually let myself neglect how everything was going on. I was constantly keeping an eye around and not letting my mind escape from reality.

But I was also getting submerged in Nathaniel because he was the only person around that was able to head me off the constant suffering about everything. I loved the feeling of his arms holding me close to him and his comforting voice constantly amusing me with things that kept popping in his mind. He's the only one close to me that could make me stop overthinking and obligate me to stay optimistic, manifesting the positivity and getting sink in his calming voice.

He's the only individual that could make my deep golden light shine more strongly than it ever did. Not more than his laugh was necessary to stop the timeline and let the universe fall on each other.

***

- Do you need to come back home? -. I asked him, upset but trying to not insist. Please don't leave.

- Unfortunately, yes, Bellerose -. He replied showing regret.- Mom called me and told me to come back immediately, if I wasn't such a good son I would definitely stay more time -.

- Alright -. I said and hugged him, I submerged my head on his shoulder and could smell his delightful perfume.- Tell me when you arrive -.

- Don't worry darling -. He said holding me strongly.- See you at school, I love you -.

- I love you too -. I said, when we got separated I could feel a thread cut.- Thanks for staying here -.

- No problem my lady -. He said while ironically bowing.- It was a good pleasure to spend more time with you -.

I barely laughed and kissed him on the cheek and he left.

Yes, I was going to see him again, but sometimes I feel like there was something stepping between us and forcing us to separate every time we say goodbye, provoking that those millions of stars stop shining and be quietly off until we hug again. We were still having our golden thread tied to us, but I also was feeling that something was leaving me behind and forgetting I was expecting it to come back once again.

Am I getting too obsessed? Or am I just trying to make him know I need him so much whenever it is? No matter the situation, no matter what happens this time. I wish to be always lying by his side looking at the sky while we talk about the constellations and the infinite universe.