that certain boy I meet

Slowly collisioning the timeline

- Good morning my Bellerose -. He said with his tired eyes and morning voice.

- Good morning my Beau -. I said back smiling at him.

It was almost 10 am and the sun was certainly glowing through the window, remarking on our figures and making us feel like two dancing flowers enjoying the bright light. There wasn't anything else I wanted to wake up to after that unforgettable and charming night together.

- Do you want to have breakfast? -. He asked nicely without forcing me to stand up.- I cook delicious pancakes too -. He smiled cheerfully.

Oh boy, you don't have any idea how much you make me feel, there are no words enough.

- Yes I want to -. I replied.- I'm getting hungry and I'd love to taste your pancakes, one of your majestic masterpieces as you say -.

- Brilliant -. He smiled shingly and stood up. That morning wasn't like any other, this time I finally felt happy waking up in my bed.

When we went downstairs, my mom was standing leaning on the counter with crossed arms, she didn't seem happy at all for my body walking inside the kitchen.

- Hello, Bellamy -. She saluted me with a threatening tone, I got nervous.

- Morning mom -. I said back stood in the same place I stopped, Nathe was holding my hand and he didn't seem anxious at all.

- Morning for you too, Nathaniel -. She said to him without changing the tone she used with me.- Did you have a nice night? -.

I gulped trying to not look nervous and profoundly sighed letting go of the tension, something inside me was saying that something was wrong, something didn't fit the environment.

- Morning, Miss Smith -. Nathe saluted to her.- Yes, we could say it was a peaceful night -.

- Good -. She said looking at me again.- Where's your phone? I have been calling you all night -.

- It's here -. I replied pointing at the living table.- Did something happen? -.

- Yes, that's why I asked you for your phone -. She replied angrier, I didn't have any idea what was going on.

- Mom, you know he comes home often, I told you -. I said trying to say something to calm her down.- If that's wh-

- No that's not the thing -. She said curtly.- It's not about your time together -.

I got more nervous and Nathe held my hand strongly to calm me, but it didn't work.

- Where's Benjamin and dad? -. I asked, trying to not sound nervous, yes, there was something wrong here, my soul was shaking disastrously.

- That's what I wanted to tell you -. She said without moving any muscle and still irritated.- Something happened last night, when we were at the birthday -.

- What happened, mom? -. I was scared and sounded alarmed.

- There was an incident -. She replied overwhelmed.- Benjamin it's at the hospital -.

- What...? -. I said lowly but really freak out.- Mom wha-

- We had an accident -. She replied letting go of tears.- Your dad's at the hospital, your brother's head split open when he fell from the trampoline -.

I was shocked, with my eyes so open that I could feel the air running across my face, and so some tears began to go off my eyes. Benjamin, my little brother.

- That's why I asked you where the bloody hell your phone was -. She said drying the tears and taking back her frustrated tone.- I spent the whole night calling you to tell you that he's hospitalized -.

- Oh my god -. I said shocked and still crying.- Was it severe? Is he alright? Is he going to be better? -.

I was desperate, I needed to run towards the hospital to visit him and see if he was okay. I needed to see his smile and blue eyes again before something worse happens.

- Luckily it wasn't so severe, yes it was horrible but the doctor said he's going to be better -. She said looking at the window.- But I need you to come with me, now. Before you forget that your brother it's at the hospital -.

- Mom obviously I won't forget -. I said drying my tears and still feeling Nathe's hand holding mine.- I would never let anything make me disinterested in Benjamin -.

- Bellamy, listen -. She got closer and looked at me upset.- Since you began to spend time with Nathe, which is fabulous, you literally make everything around you vanish and just pay attention to your boyfriend -.

- Mom...

Nathe was still petrified, not knowing what to say and feeling tense and still holding my hand.

- Bellamy, don't deny it -. She shook her head.- There is a whole world around you and you completely forgot about it, I'm telling you from my side and as your mother. I'm happy for you for finding someone you love and have affection for but remember not everything it's about you, the universe doesn't turn around both. There's a world and situations you have been missing, I don't want you to be upset about what I'm saying but please, lady, you're not the center of the universe -.

- Mom, what? -. I said confused.- I haven't forgotten I have a family and responsibilities to do, even if Nathe showed around and I've been spending more time with him, that doesn't mean I let my surroundings suddenly disappear and make everything about us -.

- Yes I know, but that's not what I want to tell you -. She said, grabbing my shoulders.- It's not about the people around, it's about what has been and what's going to happen around you. Last night, when you and Nathe were alone and we were at Benjamin's friend's birthday, I literally sent you a hundred messages and called you so many times crying to tell you that something awful happened to one member of the family. But you didn't answer -.

She had a pause and I could feel how the silence was brutally breaking the beautiful morning.

- Listen, I don't have any right to stop what you're feeling because I'm not inside your mind. But you can also have a daily reminder that there are things happening around you, don't let yourself get stuck just in your relationship, and also try to check out if we're still alive -.

I was crying, more than before, but not because her words were hurting me, it was because I realized that maybe all that she was telling me was true.

- Now -. She continued.- Go change your clothes, we're leaving to visit your brother, I'm waiting for you outside -.

And she left the house. I was completely shocked and petrified, I felt that everything went dark and suddenly anyone vanished from my surroundings. I couldn't think about anything else than the idea of Benjamin being hospitalized, he was the one that woke me up the exact morning I met Nathe, if it wasn't for him I'm sure that I wouldn't be so happy next to him.

- Bel -. Nathe said taking me back from my thoughts.- Come on, I'm going with you, let's get changed, we don't have to take more time -.

I nodded agreeing and went upstairs, still holding his hand and letting his touch try to calm my nerves and fear of the worst. I let his delicate hand transmit his comfort and travel his warm feeling across my body so I could stop overthinking all the things I just got told about.