Finding Loki

8. Bonehead

You had gone back to the hotel, to set up a new plan. A plan to find Loki, track him down or try to figure out where he went. At first you couldn't get your mind to focus, all your thoughts bounced around in your head without you even being able to understand what they include. But now you're hyper focused. You remember every word that salesman told you.

"If he wants to go back to where he got the weapons, isn't that on that weird planet with those weird aliens?"

"That weird planet with those weird aliens" repeats Thor with a chuckle. "You mean Sanctuary and the Chitauri. I don't think he wants to go back there and I don't think they want him back."

You keep thinking and a frown forms on your face. Asgard keeps popping up in your head, but he knows he isn't quite welcome there either, maybe as prisoner but he wants his freedom.

You feel Thor staring at you. You look up and meet eyes with the God.

"What?" you ask impatient.

"Well uhh, we can presume that he indeed came to visit you in the avenger tower. He promised to get you out, but I beat him to it, what if he still wants to get you out."

"What do you mean? That he still hasn't tried to get me out and doesn't know that I left with you. Or does he know and still wants to find me? Because I don't believe either scenario."

"I mean, he needs the weapons to get you out and something to get into space. Or I don't know, it was just a thought that popped into my head."

"I think he knows that I'm out. I don't believe he would go to Asgard, he knows you probably treat me better than the avengers."

"What if he wants revenge?"

"Revenge for what?"

"You?"

"No." you honestly know that that isn't true. "But the thing he got. The thing he betrayed me for. Maybe that's the missing piece." You get caught in your own train of thought. He isn't going to attack earth again, Asgard he wouldn't try, is he going for a new planet? What does he want now that he has got his freedom?

"So you don't know what that is?" Thor breaks your train of thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You don't know what Loki was after?"

You shake your head.

"But the avengers know?" says Thor with a weird tone of voice.

"Hm-m no Thor. We aren't getting the avengers involved, no way, I won't allow it."

"You want to find him right?" Thor raises his voice "Maybe you should stop pouting and running and just face them. Why all these lies and deceit. Tell the truth and maybe they help."

"Or maybe they make everything worse, like the last time" you yell back.

"Well I have no clue where he is or what he's up to" Thor is now yelling too.

"Than don't be such a bonehead and just try to fucking think for once."

"What are you trying to say huh?!" Thor is standing closer to you.

"That you're just a lot of muscle with NO BRAIN!" you shout back.

You immediately regret your words.

"And you think you're so smart" Thor has lowered his voice. "Then figure this one out little woman."

The fact that you can't is driving you crazy. You storm out of the room, put on a jacket and go for a walk, alone.

After one block it starts raining. You're about to get annoyed, but it actually makes you chuckle. Typical, what a scene this. You flip your hood off and let the rain fall down on you.

You notice that you've walked quite a bit on autopilot. And just now you realize where you're heading. The avenger tower is already in sight. You want to turn around, but you're freezing cold. You pray that only Nat is home.

When you reach the front door, you try the finger scan for fun. But not to your surprise, it gets rejected. So you ring the buzzer. You want to close your eyes, so you don't know which avenger you're facing, but you keep them open.

Well, karma is a bitch. You look in the eyes off a confused Steve Rogers. You realize how sad you must look, with your drenched clothes and shivering body.

You give Steve a little smile, to let him know you come in peace. Steve gives you a warm smile back. You suddenly feels sorry for all the things you put him through.

"Everything alright Y/n?" he asks as he opens the door for you.

With a sorry look you ask him "Is it alright if I come in for a moment?"

"Of course of course, you must be freezing, you can grab some of your old clothes, we stored them for you."

In your old warm and comfy clothes you fall down on the sofa where you've sat a thousand times before. You play with your hands as you wait nervously for Steve who is making you a cup of tea.

"Here you go, watch out it is still hot." he hands you your mug.

"I-" you don't come any further than that.

Steve sees you struggling "Have you found your bracelet yet?"

Your perfect way out, you can say that you have found it and leave, saying that this is your goodbye. Maybe even say you're sorry and that you might be seeing him in the far future.

But it's enough with the lies, Thor is right.

"I want to make a deal Steve. But first I want to apologize, for some of the things I did and said."

"We both have handled things poorly. I want to apologize too. What have you come to talk about?"

"I will tell you the truth about that day, if you promise that you let me handle the consequences." you give him one last stern look "I mean it."

You can see that Steve is conflicted by your proposal. But he nods.

You take a deep breath. "I didn't know about Loki's plan. I didn't know for sure if he was dead, but I was sincerely mourning. The possibility of his death did weird things with my head, that's one of the reasons why I said the things I said. Yes I did let him go, I don't know why, I was frozen in the moment. And I didn't lose my bracelet. Thor and I came to find Loki, to see if he was alive. Now we know he is, but we can't figure out his location. We think it might help if we know what he was after." It feels good to tell the truth. You literally feel a weight lift from your shoulders.

Steve on the other hand seems more troubled than ever. He is rubbing his forehead and needs to take a deep breath.

"Well goddamn Y/L/N" he says surprisingly calm.