Cherish

Chapter Six - If I could bottle a moment

The exhaustion hit me like a brick wall, as I tiptoe to bed, scattering my clothes across the floor as I go like a teenager, until I'm just wearing black slightly baggy underwear and a white t shirt with sun cream stains. The room is filled with darkness and silence which for many would bring peace, but for me brings an uneasy feeling. I miss the sounds of taxis and drunk friends walking home filling my bedroom because it would prevent me from focusing on my own thoughts. Staring into the darkness I replay the last words Damiano said to me this evening analysing every word and every movement of his face wondering what his intentions were. There's a certain loneliness that comes with being physically so close to someone, only separated by a thin wall but feeling as if you were a million miles away.

The sound of the elevator doors opening wakes me. I turn to pick up my phone seeing that it's 8:30am and it sounds like everyone else is already awake. I pull on my oversized fleece and walk out of my bedroom giving a sleepy wave as I walk to the bathroom. After we get ready for the day I hear that everyone will be in sound check for the next few hours so I decide to join them and do some work at the venue. We all pack our bags of things we need to get ready for the show and get a ride downtown in our tour bus.

Today is the first official day of tour and some fans have already made their way down desperately hoping to get some photos with the band. I take their phones and take photos for them making sure none of them are blurry and they are happy with them before walking into the venue. I'm impressed with how much time they all took speaking to their fans it wasn't rushed in the slighted and you could see how genuinely grateful they are to their fans it wasn't what I expected. I spent the next few hours sat in the dressing room editing some video footage we had taken on the bus to post on the bands social media accounts.

I decided to take a quick cigarette break and sit in the sunshine, on my way back inside I bumped into Victoria and Damiano who were on their way back to the dressing room to start getting ready. Walking behind Victoria, backstage smells like cigarettes and hairspray almost choking me as we navigate our way to the shared dressing room. I decided not to wear makeup today it was extremely hot so the only thing I could tolerate on my skin was sun cream. Victoria insisted on doing my makeup I felt rude saying no so I let her do whatever she wanted. After what felt like forever I was snapped out of my day dream by her shouting that she was done. Spinning the chair around to face the mirror I barely recognised myself. Black smoked out eyeliner with a relatively full coverage foundation I'd never seen myself with so much makeup but I have to admit I absolutely loved it.

"Wow who's this" shouts Thomas looking at me.

"You look incredible" says Victoria l sounding very proud.

"But you can't wear that." She states with a frown.

"What's wrong with this?" I say looking down at my yellow summer dress.

"You look like you're going for a picnic with the Queen rather than a concert" says Damiano with a smirk.

"Come with me." Victoria says while pushing me into the bathroom not giving me a choice.

"Red or black take your pick" she says holding up two very short dresses. The red dress had a slit on the side that is way out of my comfort zone. So I sigh and take the black dress from her she leaves to let me change. I slip off my sundress and fold it on the counter and pull the very tight black dress over my body. It has a subtle shimmer that sparkles when the light hits it and shows a little more of my breasts than I would normally wear. I take the hair band out of my hair allowing it to fall over my shoulders. Looking at myself properly for the first time I barely recognise myself. A wave of anxiety washes over me as I realise that I now have to walk out of the bathroom into the dressing room, hand on the door handle trying to psych myself up before I hear a voice on the other side.

"What's taking so long I need to use the bathroom." Shouts Thomas.

Casually I open the door and brush past him.

"Holy fuck." Victoria says scanning me up and down. "That dress is yours now it was made for you."

"Thank you." I say feeling extremely self conscious and awkward.

Damiano doesn't say a word just stares intently making all of my blood rush to my face. He can be so intimidating sometimes and I can't tell if I love or hate it. I sit on the sofa scrolling through my phone before everyone starts to head out and I follow. Switching accounts to the band Instagram I begin to stream the show live. Trying to focus on keeping my hands steady so the viewers don't get sea sick I find it hard not to watch Damiano. The way he holds himself with such confidence and dominates the entire stage just by being present fascinates me.

After the last song played and the lights went out I turned off the live video and made my way down the hall to the outside area for a cigarette. I turn to face the wall attempting to block the breeze from my lighter when I feel my head slam against the concrete in front of me. Dropping my cigarette and lighter I feel a hand grip my hair from behind and drag me to the ground.

"It's you isn't it! It's fucking you!" I hear a female voice scream at me.

I try to look up to see who it was but she held my hair so tightly I couldn't move my head at all.

"Please I have no idea what you're talking about let me go." I say reaching to grab her wrist.

I hear the metal doors open which cause her to abruptly let go of my hair causing me to fall to the ground. I look up to see a brunette women in her early twenties with mascara running down her cheeks. Damiano runs to me putting his hands on either side of my face looking at what feels like a cut on my forehead.

"Get her back to the dressing room." He says to Ethan who helps me up and walks me inside with his arm around me.

"Dami I'm so sorry this isn't what it looks like." She says in what I now identify as an Italian accent. Who is she how does she know him?

Before we make it to the dressing room Damiano has caught up with us and insists we go straight to the bus. We all sit in silence on the way back to the hotel with Ethan helping me down the bus stairs and into the elevator. It's strange nobody is talking about what just happened Thomas, Vic and, Ethan all say goodnight and quickly go into their rooms. I turn to Damiano who looks riddled with guilt.

"Who is she and why did she do this to me?" I ask trying not to cry.

"I think she was just some crazy fan and I'm so sorry this happened. You've hit your head so I think you should sleep in here with me tonight so I can keep an eye on you." I nod and tell him I'll change and take my makeup off. Walking into his room he has the torch on his phone directed at the floor so I can find my way to his bed. It was small for a double bed but the closeness brought me comfort after what just happened, closing my eyes and feeling his breath on my forehead gave me peace I'd never experienced.

I open my eyes to a dark room realising the rain hitting the window must have woken me up. I look up to see Damiano asleep with his eyelashes delicately resting on his tanned skin and lips slightly parted. I move slightly to get comfortable when I notice a weight above my hip, I look down to see his arm draped over my waist wondering if he did this intentionally or in his sleep.

"Are you okay?" I hear a small voice ask.

Darting my eyes up "yes I'm fine, sorry if I woke you."

He smiles lightly and places a small kiss on my forehead giving me a mix of both pleasure and pain. Moving slightly closer my cheek rests on his chest our breathing in sync we drift back to sleep. Listening to his heartbeat and the rain against the window I wish I could bottle this moment.