Fizah

نزدیکی|Nazdeeqi

"چلتے چلتے رُکے ہوئے ہیں کہیں
آج کل خود سے چُھپے ہوئے ہیں کہیں"

Life had been hard for Fizah ever since she started to live in the orphanage, it wasn't like it was any better before, just that it was hard for her to find a place amongst many kids of her age. She thought only her parents were cruel but when she was brought to the orphanage, she realized that parents could abandon their newborns too. It broke her heart to even think of leaving a young soul when he still needed his mother. How more cruel could this world be?

Being an abandoned child in the mass society of judgemental people was not easy either. They would taunt and name call. The day when Ayda and Fizah went out to house hunt and when they had to return, they came back with invisible dried tears. They not only name called them on their backs but also pointed out their non existing mistakes slash sins on their faces. It had wounded them so much that they succumbed to their room for almost a week.

It was not anyone's fault if their parents did not want them and it's totally inhumane to point out on them. Kids there wanted nothing but the love of their parents and people around them but as they grew up, it left a bitter feeling in their heart. They had no faith in love. Hamza, however, pretended to be brave but the girls knew he was hurt. Losing parents at the age of seven was not something kids of his age would want or even think about. He was brought into the orphanage injured, terrified and psychologically traumatized. He took two years to conquer his fears and come out of his shell. Although he showed all fun on the outside, they knew he was still damaged by the incident. There were some impacts that the parents knowingly or unknowingly left on their children but what they wouldn't know was the huge price the children had to pay to dig a hole and bury their insecurities and move on.

Her mother's abuses stopped but it didn't make her feel any better instead she was lost. She continued on her routine like nothing ever happened, she would go to school, sit in the park afterwards and watch mothers play with their children, it stung like a wave of current. The feeling of being unwanted and unloved– now thrown away was getting to her. When Saleh was around he would make sure she did not take it to her heart and would distract her whenever their mother yelled from the other side of the door. He used to be extra careful with his sister's mental health. He did not want it to deteriorate.

"I have left the door open for you, aajao." She yelled, kneeling in front of the fridge, trying to pick out the ingredients for the day's dinner. It was her turn and Ayda hadn't returned yet. She told Fizah that she would be late since she had some paperwork related to the cafe's rent.

"The way you told me to come was totally unsafe, oh what if I was a gangster?" A voice wondered from behind her. Her eyelids automatically blinked twice thinking she could be hearing things as she had been thinking of him from the time she opened up and decided to pull her guards up later. She shook her head and continued her search.

"I like gobi ke paratte better." He spoke again. Hallucinations couldn't just be relevant to the situation, could it? She turned over her shoulder to find him indeed standing near the doorway. She gaped at him.

"How do you even know my address, sir?" Frozen in her place, she asked, watching his actions. Well he had the manners to remove shoes before entering someone else's house.

"Ring the bell." He snorted before settling down on the sofa. Ofcourse. She rolled her eyes before she walked into the kitchen and brought him a glass of water and a couple of dates.

"Is it a way to ask me out on a date?" A smug smile hung loosely on his lips as he eyed the woman who only scowled.

"As if! Don't flatter yourself." She replied before walking up to the breakfast bar with a chopping board and vegetables. She saw him examine her little safe haven with wide eyes.