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Perfectionism Could Go, Screw Itself

19. Perfectionism Could Go, Screw Itself

Good night kisses weren't a belief or a tradition in most of the Indian households, but Mythraeyi had always lulled her kids to sleep kissing them good night. And Himani did it uncompromisingly, too, when the kids were with her.

Hrutvi did not know what time it was—but, it doubtlessly had been more than forty minutes since all of them had scrambled to Himani's room bidding good night to Raghav, while Dera had already mosseyed up to his bed.

Himani had tucked both of them in her bed after having given their good night kisses.

On one side of the bed was Vidyut, toppled on his stomach and sound asleep, his face resting quiet and peaceful, facing away from her. Slumber had cradled him with its kind hands as soon as he took his glasses away, put it on the bedside table, and laid his tiny body on his side of the bed, carefully lodging himself inside his green dinosaurus printed bed sheet.

On the other was Himani, lying towards her side, one of her hands snugly tucked under her chin and the other—that'd been soothingly trying to pat Hrutvi to sleep—now, rested on her little stomach dormant, rising and falling in harmony with every breath she took.

Lying between them snuggly, was Hrutvi—wide awake, staring off at Himani's palm, at the back of Vidyut's head, in the sideways at the thoroughly closed windows, one after the other. Several minutes of trying but failing to fall asleep, she decided she'd slink out of the bed to while away time until she felt sleepy again.

Himani recoiled in alert at her hand being lifted from resting against the warmth of a child's frame. Nevertheless, her eyes felt too heavy to peel them open and look for the tiny creature sprawled on the bed.

Not finding Hrutvi next to her, Himani propped herself up on one arm tiresomely, to spot a tiny tottering form with carelessly knotted space bunned hair, a few frizzy strands straying out of the hold of elastic bands. She was on the verge of slipping out of the door, dragging a bright yellow dinosaurus printed blanket along with her, as it went sweeping the floor behind her.

Himani's eyes were burning and scrunched up due to the impending sleep. "Hrutvi," she called out, her sleepy, half-open eyes struggling to not shut them close, and her voice coming out hoarsely, "Are you okay? Where are you going?"

Himani kept blinking without any pause as a desperate attempt to stay awake, whilst the little one stuttered right there at the door, her tiny hands curling around the door jamb to give Himani a faltering look. "I am okay," her voice was a whisper, her eyes cautiously widening in not waking her brother up, "just not sleepy. You go back to sleep, I will come to bed when I am sleepy."

The will to stay awake and hold a rational conversation was fraying in Himani, just as she pressed the back of her palm to her mouth, muffling a yawn. "Are you sure you're okay?" Her words—gravelly, and only half-intelligible—stumbled out of her mouth, as she started lowering her stance into her inviting bed, but managing to stay on a propped up elbow so that she was able to squinty-ly eye at her clueless niece.

Hrutvi waved a hand, gesturing her to go back to sleep. "Yes, just sleep," her hushed voice drifted over to Himani as she slumped back into the bed, her elbow flopping, and the flanks of her face landing on the plush of her pillow.

A half-coherent, sleepy disclosure left her lips in a murmur, her eyes tugging close. "Wake me up, if you need something."

Hrutvi leaned forward to grab the door by its knob, stepping out of the room. "Okay," she whispered, tugging the door to shut.

Across the hallway was Raghav's room—with a mutedly lit ambience, and the door remaining unbolted, letting the hint of light out through the crack of it.