The Player's Losing Hand - (Love Island the Game FanFiction)

Chapter 36: Confessions - What Pain Lurks Within

Dreaming comes so easily
'Cause it's all that I've known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things
that I wanted to say
And you can't take back
what you've taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

- Plumb -

Charlotte...

Even now the name conjured up the panicked and powerless feelings from so many years ago.

Bobby struggled with how to describe it. Thoughts about where to start, and how detailed should he be spun around madly in his head like a teacup carnival ride...

"So... ermmm, it's a bit of a long story... guess ah'l just start at the beginning...."

He scratched his head, then shrugged.

"Ah dinnae talk about mah family... ah know yeh always asked about them when we were together, and ah changed the subject... reason is, mah family kinda sucks."

Skye didn't want to interrupt him, so she just gently squeezed his hand in support. The small gesture didn't go unnoticed by him and he smiled at her sadly before continuing.

"Mah mum is Scottish, and mah Da came here originally from Jamaica tae work wi' his Uncle at his restaurant. They met and dated a bit before she realized she was pregnant wi' meh. She never married him; they were just... together... all those years."

He paused for a moment, ordering his thoughts before continuing.

"Summer before 5th year mah Mum told mah Da she'd been cheating on him and was getting married and takin meh tae move in wi' her new husband outside oh Oxford..."

"Ah dinnae wanna go, of anyone, me and mah Da were closest.... but ah dinnae have much choice. Felt like eht was just a power play by dear ol Mum though, cause soon as ah got there the new school year started and they shipped meh the fuck off tae boarding school..."

Chewing on his lip ring, Bobby frowned...

"Mah first year there ah was pretty much invisible tae tell yeh the truth... ah wasn't good at sports, ah was part of a garage band back in Scotland, so ah was still pretty pissed at havin tae leave... so ah just kept tae myself... tell the truth ah dinnae think ah made a single friend the whole year. Eht was pretty miserable. Ah just wanted tae have fun like in Glasgow but ah was a fish outta water."

He thought for a moment, decided that was good...then picked up again.

"When ah went home for summer break mah stepdad said ah was too scrawny and ah needed tae start thinkin 'bout how ah look, who tae know... all tha stuff. He said ah needed tae make more outta mah 6th year... so he enrolled me wi' a personal trainer. All ah wanted was tae jam and write music, but he wouldn'ae have eht... said his stepson needed tae reflect better on him, that kinda bullshite."

Bobby started, then caught himself as he furrowed his brow and thought how to continue... he'd never spoken about what happened with anyone except his Da.

He looked at Skye, just sitting and listening...

She'd put herself out there telling him about her belief that Senna was his. Knowing he'd lately shown her more of a tendency to use any weakness he could leverage against her... she still told him, honestly it had been dangerous for her... she'd known the risks, and told him anyway.