To The Bone / Nikolai Lantsov

004 / crossroads

!!! for everyone who didn't notice, I updated the last chapter and changed the second part of it to something completely new, it's necessary to read it before this chapter, to understand what's happening here !!! I also changed the name Dunyasha to Roshan, as we already have a Dunyasha in the Grishaverse !!!

The conversation with the Darkling left her more than a little hesitant. She knew that despite his assurances, he didn't want her to become Alina Starkov's protector only— he wanted her to become a replacement for the sun summoner's lost friend, someone she could trust with her thoughts and feelings, someone she could tell everything without any reservations. He wished Roshan to become someone Starkov couldn't imagine leaving behind, someone who supported her through everything that awaited her in the Little Palace. It couldn't hurt that other people were terrified of her and wouldn't dare do anything against her. If Alina was her friend, people would undoubtedly leave her alone, maybe even respect her a little, after all, it was known that Roshan wasn't exactly the nicest person and her circle of friends was small and closed.

None of that bothered her, not really. She didn't like making new friends, but that didn't mean she wasn't capable of doing it. What got on her nerves was that despite what her general had said, he expected her to report to him about the girl's character, plans, hopes, and dreams. He wanted her to spy on the sun summoner and wished to know if anything was wrong, if she planned something out of line. Roshan wasn't sure she could do that. She was loyal to him, yes, but there was a reason why she didn't bother with other people— she got attached too quickly. All of the people in her immediate circle, she would walk into a fire for, if they asked. And if she was forced to spy on Alina, then it would go against her nature— the Darkling knew that, too. This is why she didn't understand why he still asked ( ordered ) her to befriend the girl. 

"You look like someone ran you over with a coach," she heard Amir snort. Roshan lifted her eyes, noticing her surroundings. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when she arrived back in their tent. "It can't be that bad, I bet the Darkling only played around a little, maybe teased you about your last fight."

"He wants me to befriend the girl," she threw herself on her bed miserably.

"The girl? As in, the sun summoner?" at the thoughtfulness in his voice, she looked at him sharply. "Don't look at me like that, Ro, but I can see where he's coming from."

"I'm literally the worst person for this," she sat down, facing the inferi. "I don't like making new friends, and spying on people is even worse than that."

"I wouldn't say you're the worst person for this. Have a little faith in yourself. If you allowed people to approach you, I think you would be one of the most popular grisha around, but that's not the point. The point is, that you're one of the very few people the Darkling trusts, not only because he knows that you will take care of the sun summoner, but also because he's aware of how difficult it was for you to adjust to the Little Palace, and you were a child. I don't think he wants you to spy on her per se. Keep a friendly eye on her only. Make sure that she doesn't do anything stupid while you're at it."

Roshan sighed, knowing that her friend didn't understand. She didn't blame him, nor did she blame Darya— her relationship with the Darkling was complicated, to say the least. The problem was that they didn't understand his intentions because they didn't know him, the way she knew him. They wanted to believe that he was good, that he wouldn't wish hurt and pain on them, that he was fair and righteous, but she knew that the Darkling had lived too many years to worry about trivial things like that. She couldn't help but remember the way he looked at Alina— the way he looked at her, once, still did, sometimes. As if she held the answers to his prayers in the palm of her hands. As if she was the lifeline, and he was drowning. 

The girl was impressionable, maybe even more than Roshan was, all these years back. She was most probably a war orphan, a lot of the people in the First Army were. She only had one close companion, for whom she desperately activated her power, if rumours were to be believed, and whom she now was about to leave behind. She was about to start a new chapter, all the luxury of the grisha life at her fingertips.

Roshan knew the Darkling had his job already cut out for him. He only needed to find a way to insert himself in the sun summoner's life, and wouldn't that be easy too? They were both one of a kind. Two sides of the same coin.

Despite all of that, he was still a busy man. He commanded an army of grisha, needed to keep them all in line, faced with the full force of their pride and arrogance that he cultivated, not to mention his service to a man-child that wore a crown. He didn't have the time to spare for Alina unless he were to ignore all of his responsibilities for her, which Roshan couldn't see happening, ever.

That's where she came in. Outside of training herself and the younger students, she had none of his obligations. She was always lingering around in the Little Palace. She was already closely tied with him, a fact everyone was aware of, so the sun summoner would undoubtedly notice it as well. The girl will be attracted to any connection to the shadow summoner she can find— as countless others were. And the Darkling would then have an opening, a possible way of finding a place in Alina's life, even with his duties.

'A master plan, really,' Roshan thought, resigned. She knew there was no way in hell he would allow her not to do it. Not with how important the girl seemed to be to him. Not with him knowing how loyal Roshan was to him. 

author's note /

hey everyone, I know it's been a long time, but I was busy with my life, I had a lot of exams, I was starting a new school, and overall a lot of things happened since I updated last. I can't promise anything, I'm hoping to update more frequently now, and I have a few chapters half-done too, but my inspiration comes and goes, so as I said, no promises. I have every intention of finishing this story, I have it all outlined, I only need to write it, so yeah. 

and to everyone who didn't notice the updates I did on the other chapters, I have changed our main character's name from Dunyasha to Roshan, because well, we already have a Dunyasha in the Grishaverse, so I thought it would be better if the mc was named differently. Its origin is Persian, and it translates to something like 'bright' or 'brilliant'. overall, I think it is a better fitting name than Dunyasha.

so the second part of the last chapter (that was changed as well) and this chapter outlines the relationship Roshan has with the Darkling a little, I'm excited to show you guys everything I have in store!!

i hope you are all feeling well. let me know what you think about the new chapter and the changes!

yours, maevestorms