There was beauty in the idea of freedom, but it was an illusion. Every human heart was chained by love.
Pre / During the Shadow and Bone trilogy
Nikolai Lantsov
2021
slow updates!
I want to survive this world that keeps trying to destroy me.
( leigh bardugo )
Roshan was thirteen when she realized what it meant to be a daughter. The truth was ugly— clawing at her throat, burning her veins like fire, threatening to tear her apart, limb by limb. Being a daughter, it was hideous and unsightly, in ways only the daughter could ever understand. It shoved the girl on a path that led through blazing fields, rivers full of blood and pain so deep it was able to awaken the boundless sea inside of her— an everlasting rage, spilling through every crack like water overflowing a sinking ship.
Being a daughter meant failing— all daughters are bound to dismay and disappoint the ones who showed them their significance. It meant waiting for the right moment to strike and to kill, only to be stopped by their hearts, which betrayed them like everything else in the world— being a daughter meant being alone, always, never being able to find a place where you truly belonged, for no location and no person could ever recognize who you were. The daughter does not know who she is or was either, but that does not stop her from asking and seeking the answers to her endless questions ( who was I before the storm came, who was I before it made me who I am today? ).
Being a daughter meant striving— pursuing the greatness etched onto your existence, waiting ( anticipating), just beneath the surface, to be slashed open with your teeth. Being a daughter meant bringing forth all that was hidden, all the parts of you that you only ever felt grazing your heart and bones, the parts of you that you tried to silence, to murder, just to be a good daughter. But Roshan was not a good daughter— she learned the truth early, and it was eating her from the inside out until she let herself become a different kind of daughter. The kind that was ready to overthrow her father's golden empire— the kind of daughter that he raised.
the jackal and the fox / main characters
roshan khan-sherazi / heartrender
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