What Comes After | ✔️

Chapter 22

September 16

Thank goodness Mom and Dad are alright. I thought they had died or gotten hurt out there because it had taken them forever to get back. This is why not having phones and the internet is a nightmare.

Mom and Dad left together in the morning, bundled up in sweaters and old ski jackets, because today was colder than the rest of the days, probably since the fall equinox is coming up this Thursday as the days get shorter and shorter. The sky was still bright and clear, but in the past few days, the winds have slowed, and I'm wondering if it's the end of this respite from the ash storms. Things have been too good with the weather, and there's no chance that the universe will let this break continue forever. There are probably some places on the West Coast that are frozen and snowed in right now, and it's only a matter of time.

Mom and Mira renegotiated the terms of gun use. Thank goodness Mom isn't at the point where she's allowing everyone to carry guns all around the house, but she's allowed Mira to have the safe with the gun unlocked and opened to have easy access in case that we needed to defend ourselves from any looters. I know that it makes Mira happy that she can help people, but I wish she could do it some other way that doesn't involve guns or just the potential to hurt someone, like working at a soup station or a city council volunteer.

May wanted to sleep in today, so while she snored in the living room, Mira and I played cards in our old room. It was pretty awkward and silent, especially after everything yesterday.

"I feel like you're avoiding talking to me," Mira said, finally breaking the silence.

I nodded awkwardly because there was no good way to respond to that. And it was true, I guess I was avoiding talking with her a bit, mostly because I didn't understand what she meant by "non-magazine" people, as if she knew that I was thinking about the guy in the magazine. Or maybe she was just talking about life in general and telling me how I should stop burying my face in books and start exploring real life around me. But either way, I was too scared to ask for clarification because I didn't want her to push the question.

"Do you know where Dad put his poker set?" Mira asked. "It might be fun to learn, and maybe May will join us to play."

"Poker? Isn't that super illegal to play?"

"Only if you use real money," Mira replied with a devilish grin. "Which we are totally not going to do."

"So much for making sure people don't break the law," I said. "Anyways, I think that it's in Dad's bedroom, maybe under the bed."

"How about you go and find the poker set from Mom and Dad's room while I go and wake May up since it's pretty late now?"

"I can go wake May up," I said and stood up a bit too quickly.

I know it's a bit irrational, but I don't want to go anywhere near the safe, especially since it's open, just in case the gun spontaneously combusts and just shoots a bullet out of nowhere. But I guess also that I don't really want to get used to the idea of just having guns being casually carried around at home because it'll be like the situation with the raiders in the ash storm. One slip of the finger, one moment of forgetfulness with the safety, one slip-up, and then, that's it, especially with the state of disrepair with the hospitals.

"Is this about the gun?" Mira asked. "You know the safety is on, right? Nothing bad is going to happen."

I shrugged, though if I was being truthful, I should've nodded. "I'll go get May. She'll probably be less mad if I wake her up from her beauty sleep since she might still be mad."

And before Mira could reply, I left. I could've been honest with her, and I guess it's something important, so I probably should've been honest. It's just that I don't want her to feel guilty about what she's doing because it's something that makes her happy, and it's her way of coping with the death of the couple. Maybe it's time for me to just get over my fear, so that everyone else can be happy about it.