Unrequited Love (under-revision)

21

“Cardiac arrest! Push 1 mg of epi every 3 minutes.”

The sound of a machine beeping frantically echoes inside my head. It was like a hammer beating my head. Lahat kami ay aligagang kumikilos. I was trying everything I could to at least help the patient feel better, but none of the syringes worked. 

“Get off.” I commanded Lucas and replaced him, doing CPR on the patient. I was doing it for 10 minutes, already sweating buckets and I could feel my arms numbing from doing it. But it’s not enough.

[Flatline]

Bumaba ako from the operating table.

“It’s time to call it…” I mumbled looking at the hours of operation. It has been 2 hours since we got in. 

“Time of death…” Lucas paused. “....10:00 am.”

Both of us get out of the operating room, baffled with what happened just now. It was our first patient, and we failed to save him. It was the first time again after 5 years. When Mom died.

I sighed. I took off my surgical mask and gloves then washed my hands. The cold water running from the faucet makes me tremble a bit.

“Fuck.” I glanced at Lucas who’s sitting now on the cold tiles of the hospital. 

I stepped next to him atsaka ako sumandal sa pader, putting my hands inside the pockets of my scrubs. Still keeping a safe distance away from him.

“We can’t save everyone.” I said.

“I badly want to save him.” He sighed again.

Tumayo na siya kaya umalis ako sa pagkakasandal sa pader. He wasn’t speaking anymore so I decided to be the first one to get out of the operating room—but I froze when the door automatically opened because the family of the patient who just died was waiting outside of that door.

“Kumusta po ang asawa ko?” The woman asked me with a face that was hoping to hear some good news. Nilingon ko ang mga kasama niya and they all have the same expression. If only I could bring good news to you.

“I’m sorry.” I bowed my head respectfully. “He died on the operating table at 10:00 am.”

“Po?” One of them asked.

I slowly lifted my face, still looking down on the wife of the patient because I was taller. I could see her tears almost falling but she’s holding it back. 

“We did everything we could, but unfortunately, he died due to cardiac arrest.” I announced.

“Ang asawa ko…” She sobbed. Unti-unti siyang napaupo sa sahig pero her family assisted her from behind. 

I bowed once again at narinig ko namang bumukas yung door, paglingon ko roon ay nakayukong lumabas si Lucas.

“I am your husband's surgeon. I’m sorry.” He apologized while bowing his head.

“Ang asawa ko!” She wailed and broke down on the floor. 

It was so heartbreaking to watch so I walked away, feeling heavy. Sumunod naman sa akin si Lucas na hanggang ngayon ay nakayuko pa rin. I stopped walking and waited for him to reach where I’m standing.