fell for the good guy

explanations

• Y/n's POV •

"Come in!" I said as I heard a knock on the door. Probably Lonnie, since it's quite late. I was continuing Peaky Blinders.

"Hey Y/n, didn't see you anywhere but in the lunchroom today." A voice said. It was Lucas. I ignored him as I watched Freddie Thorne and Tommy Shelby pointing guns at each other.

"What are you watching?" He asked. "Just continuing Peaky Blinders. What are you doing here?" "I came to explain everything, and to tell you the truth." He said. "You came in the wrong time. I'm into this show right now and it's getting good." I said. "Well can I just get your attention for a few minutes please?"

I shut my laptop and looked at him. "Make it quick." I said.

"First of all, I just wanted to say that I'm terribly sorry. I'm sorry that I made out with Julianna, and thinking you wouldn't find out." He said. "I love you so much, Y/n. I know we said our first 'i love you's before I left. I really do love you. I will always truly love you, Y/n." "Get to the explaining Lucas, that's what you said."

"Okay well, Julianna was very touchy with me ever since you left, and when we were talking about codes in her room. She kissed me once. I pulled away immediately and left the room. Cameron saw us kissing and I told him to never tell you because I thought you'll get the wrong memo. He told me to just not be so near Julianna. Then Julianna apologized and I forgave her but then she tried to kiss me again but this time I didn't pull away because, I felt needy. But when I did kiss her all I thought about was you. How you would've felt if you saw us. I pulled away from her and just told her that it's better for us to just never see each other again - me and Julianna." He explained. I stood silent for a while, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

"Say something please?" He said. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Lucas? What can I say?" I said.

"It's sad seeing your boyfriend cheat on you as you're about to leave him for 4 years. After all the things that happened between us. I might have betrayed you by becoming a spy but that is not the same with cheating. And I still love you too no matter what I think of." I said.

"So what are we now?" He asked. "What do you want us to be?" I asked. "Together. I won't do such thing ever again. Not even look at another woman."

"Well I'm sorry but I'm gonna leave Seaquest for 4 years or more. How am I supposed to trust you?" I said as he stood silent. "Look, I've already thought about this scenario in my head. I think it's better for us to just break up for a while. Besides, almost all long distance relationships never work out." I said.