𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐬

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ⸺ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬.

0456 standard hours. Year 7963 (14 BBY)
Stinger Mantis, Christophsis Orbital Space.

⸺ VÆMAS.

⚡︎ ⁺.  ◍ 。

     𝓣HE RINGING WAS the worst. It tore her head apart and covered everything. Apart from the screams. The smell of burnt flesh infiltrated her nose, flames dancing in front of her. She couldn't breathe anything but smoke, that infiltrated her eyes and made them water.

And suddenly, a stinging pain on her right cheek, like an arm firmly gripping her and pulling her back into the present moment, back on the Mantis, where the screams were not agony and pain, but anger and confusion. She blinked, visualizing Cere's emotions as halo around her. It took a few minutes for Væmas to hear what she was saying, for the ringing to diminish, for her mental shield to consolidate.

"Snap out of it, Væmas! What happened out there?"

Væmas' voice came out raspy and low, as if she had in fact swallowed smoke. "I killed them." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth, tears streaming down her face.

She looked around, trying to hold on to something before being dragged back into the black pool of guilt that threatened to swallow her at any instant. Væmas forced herself to get up from the floor where she had collapsed, black spots dancing in front of her eyes. A hand on her forehead, she turned around and locked eyes with his.

The coldness of the impact was such that Væmas took a step backwards, her heart jumping as if she had just received a kick in the stomach. She had never seen such anger on Cal's face, all trace of kindness and compassion had vanished. And his stare, freezing stare, felt the weight of a ship had been dropped on her heart. For a moment, he stayed silent, only fury animated his traits; and then, three words, in a glacial voice of barely controlled anger.

"Yes, she did."

Væmas stood there, the words more painful than the slap given by Cere earlier. She watched him as he turned on his heels to step out of the room. Like an automat, her body moved itself to follow him, without her knowing what she was going to say, what was even there to stay. She could feel his anger, radiating like waves around him, like it was consuming him. but nothing from their link. He had shut himself off from her.

"Cal, wait!" Her call sounded like a cry of despair, an uncontrollable, despicable weakness.

She stepped in the room behind him and took a step towards him, her vision blurry with the tears. When he turned around brutally, his eyes were full of them too.

"You..." He started, teeth and jaw clenched, only an insignificant part of the pain he was feeling, and projecting onto her. "You promised me. We said that if we were faced with this choice, we would make the hard decision. The right one."

"You were asking me to let you die!" She cried out, louder than she'd expected. "To kill you!"

"People have died, Væmas!" He snapped back even louder. "Innocent people, children! People that we were supposed to protect! As Jedi, it is our duty to save as many lives as we can, no matter how we feel about each!"

She knew. She damn well knew all of that, all that her master kept harping on her during her training. And yet, she had been unable to. Her heart had taken over. Her heart had its reason. In front of her feeling eyes and her absence of response, Cal shoved her during his way to the door.

"Would you have done it?" The shout escaped her mouth, making him freeze right where he stood on the doorway. "Would you have sacrificed me?"

Cal did not answer. He stayed silent for a moment, his emotions contradictory that it was almost impossible to make anything out of them. The mind against the heart. Reason against feelings. The very dilemma the Jedi Code existed to prevent. And Cal knew that.