Second to None

19. cold war

At home, Mayu refused to speak even though Tezuka continued trying for a conversation. When bedtime came, she snatched up her pillow and set up a makeshift bed in the living room. She slept without a blanket and with her feet put up on the armrest. Some time during the night, she heard Tezuka come out and felt him laying coverings over her. Too tired to open her eyes, she let him. Yet as soon as she woke up, she threw the blanket onto the floor.

Although anger consumed her, Mayu didn't stay stagnant. Knowing the public sector led to a deadend for a foreigner like her, she changed her strategy and applied to jobs in the private sector, focusing on international companies that could potentially put her languages and policy skills to use. She forced herself to fill out applications even though most of these jobs didn't match her experiences whatsoever. None of these employers responded.

Met with no invitations in the mailbox and an even emptier voicemail, the last cinders of hope inside of Mayu were extinguished. Where the hell is my future? She wondered during the day when she was alone at home and disappointed with herself. It astounded her to think that for years she had painstakingly climbed up step by step, and with one false move, she ended up falling headfirst against the ground.

At dusk, she wandered around the neighbourhood aimlessly and stopped by a bench next to the canal. Staring at the remaining sunlight dappling the surface of the river, she wondered where she could go from here.

When the moon rose and the sun was gone, she felt someone sitting down next to her. It took a while for her eyes to refocus and register Tezuka's face. His suit was unbuttoned and sweat glistened against his forehead as if he'd been running.

"You scared me, Mayu," he began, "I came home and you were gone. There was no message, and you didn't bring your phone. How did you expect me to find you?"

"I didn't."

He looked at her for some time and sighed, "I know you're still angry with me, but please don't do this again. What if you got lost?"

"I think I already am," she looked into the darkness, lit up by the city lights she could no longer see. "When I was eighteen, I thought I had it all figured out and the future mapped out. Now I don't know where I'm headed. Everything I worked for is for naught."

"That's not true."

"Then tell me how to fix this. Tell me where I can go."

"I've been thinking for the past few days and I have an idea," he answered, turning towards her, "one you might not like."

"Just say it. I think I've run out of options."

"You're not the type of woman who enjoys staying at home—I'm sorry that I even suggested it for a second. But to redeem your career in Japan might take some time—"

"I thought you said that public service positions are closed to foreigners."

"That's what I assumed. Through conversations with a few colleagues, it doesn't seem to be impossible, just rare. And it would take internal networking to make it happen."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Would you consider taking a job as a teacher in the private academy near the association? A good number of students there are children of current public officials. It would help if you were in a position to meet their parents and try to find out current needs in the government. Meanwhile, I'll see if any contacts or stakeholders at the association could be of assistance. After all, we also work closely with the government."

"In summary, you'd like me to try going through the side door."

"That's not what I mean," he said. "I want you to maximize your chances. Regular interactions and exposure to current public officials would show them how much of an asset you'd be. I'm sorry to put you in such a challenging situation, but to get what you want in this environment, we have to consider all options and be strategic."