Adventures with Shannon

The revolution to end men

Hello I hate men right? Right. The only exception is Antonio he's different.

HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME. THIS CHAPTER WILL BE ME RELEASING MY ANGE OF ME BEING CHEATED ON WITH MEN. Over the past couple of weeks panda has met 5 men through mutuals. AND SHE GOT A SIMP ARMY BC ALMOST ALL OF THEM LIKE HER AND THE TWO THAT DONT IM SURE IS A MATTER OF TIME.

Anyways I will be going one by one sharing my thoughts on all of them.

Ahem first we have the first simp. Matt. Now matt please step into my office Bc you need it. My guy IS A WHOLE PICK ME BOY. LISTEN HERE SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU AND HAS SAID IT REPEATEDLY SIT DOWN. IM SURE YOU CAN WADDLE YOUR WAY INTO FUCKING CLUB PENGUIN AND FIND A NEW ONLINE CRUSH OR SMTH. MANS DOESNT EVEN KNOW HER REAL NAME. NONE OF THEM DO. So listen from the deepest part of my heart kindly do not be a pick me boy and I'm sure if you try rlly rlly hard you can stop using them corny ass lines that you get off of target cards. But you were my favorite Bc you had the lesser chance.

AIGHT NOW MY FORMER #1 ENEMY. Everyone may I introduce ayden. Aight you were chill at first but now you are pulling a Matt. Unseasoned chicken head ass. I BET YOU GOT THE FINEST TOUPEE OFF OF AMAZON AND PERMED IT. BRING A STRAIGHTENER THEN WHAT. Now my man's tried to play it off as a cool playboy. PLS YOU LOOK LIKE FOOL *SPITS* WHERE I AM FROM WE CALL THAT IDIOT.  GROW A PAIR AND CONFESS PROPERLY. NOW I HAVE EASED UP ON YOU RECENTLY BC YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BIGGEST COMPETITOR THE NEXT ONE IS.

Ahem now simp number #3 is named Devin. I call him Ronald McDonald. I'm sorry it has to be like this (not really) but you are my arch nemesis. YOU ARE A CHILD. I DONT CARE IF OUR AGE GAP IS SMALL. A CHILD. HE LOOKS LIKE THAT ONE GUY OFF OF MEET THE ROBINSONS. USES ROCK HARD GEL TO SHAPE HIS HAIR INTO A FUCKING TURD. YOU MAY NOT INTERACT WITH MY WIFE PLEASE WAIT FOR YOUR BALLS TO DROP FIRST PLEASE AND TY. YOU REMIND ME OF A SMALL ELF. I BET MY TOE IS BIGGER THAN YOU LEAVE. YK IM GETTING VERY MUCH "GIRLS HAVE COOTIES" VIBES FROM YOU, VERY MUCH STICKY IPAD KID. QUE THE COCOMELON THEME SONG BITCH.

NEXT WE HAVE MASON. MASON JAR IF YOU WILL. I don't have much dirt on him by you gotta do what you gotta do. Now I rlly don't know what to say about you but I know your trying to steal my wife. Kindly crawl back to the cave you came from and stay there before I shove my foot up your ass. YOUR ON THIN ICE BUDDY.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST. WE HAVE GLITCH THE FUCKING COMPUTER VIRUS. YOU SOUND LIKE A DAMN LAWNMOWER. CORPSE WANNABE. TELL ME IF I KICK YOU IN YOUR BALLS WILL YOU TURN INTO MICKEY MOUSE. IVE BEEN ON A CALL WITH HIM BEFORE HE TOLD ME TO CHILL WHEN I WAS BEING CHAOTIC. NO YOU CHILL YOUR FRIENDS WITH MATT. You like furry porn don't you, you seem like the type of person who would.I hope you die repeatedly in Minecraft.

So everyone mentioned pls suck my dick that is bigger than all of yours. And stay away from my wife before I make sure none of you get kids. #stoptheviolence K bye.