All My Cards are Here - Marauders+Wolfstar+Jily

Chapter 17: black plague

Songs in this Chapter:
Monet Issues by Chase Petra
Parents by Yungblud
Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms
Class of 2013 by Mitski
God in Jeans by Ryan Beatty

The room all looked at each other. It was clear none of them had thought that far ahead, too consumed by the anger of the moment.

"We figured we should tell you first," Sirius said, his gaze unflinching from Remus. "And then we would figure it out together."

Together . There was a question in Sirius' tone - Will you do this with us? Will it be together?

They were all looking to Remus as if he would have the answer, but Remus didn't know what to do any more than the rest of them. He suddenly felt so extremely young.

"Let's call Marlene. She'll know what to do," Remus said. James nodded and pulled out his phone, dialing her number.

She picked up on the fourth ring. "Potter, you better be fucking dying to wake me up at this hour."

Panic flashed across James' face and Remus quickly took over. "Hey, Marlene, it's Remus. You're on speaker with me, Sirius, James, and Lily. Sorry for waking you up."

"What's going on?" Her voice was still tired but less murderous.

"Peter is the one who leaked our music," Remus said, cutting to the chase much faster than the others had. From across the room, Remus watched as Sirius left to his balcony and lit up a cigarette. "Lily and James will explain," Remus said as he stood and followed Sirius outside, not caring for how Lily's eyes followed his steps.

Sirius looked surprised to see him out there, but he didn't tell him to leave either. It seemed like some kind of progress.

Remus leaned against the railing across from Sirius, the small stretch of balcony between them seemingly insurmountable. Sirius let out a puff of smoke. He didn't offer Remus a cigarette and Remus didn't ask for one.

"So..." Remus said. There seemed to be no words to be found. There had been a million questions in his head for the last two weeks - questions of trust, of love, of future. None of them felt right.

"So..." Sirius parroted, no indication of how he was feeling.

Remus had imagined what he would do if he ever talked to Sirius again - scream at him until his voice was hoarse, punch the wall until he bled, kiss Sirius until the world fell away, make him say I love you again and again and again, forget everything that had happened.

He wanted to hate him for everything he'd done. He wanted to love him despite everything he'd done.

But in this moment, he did neither. He looked at Sirius and didn't feel any of the murderous rage or idiotic love he'd expected to feel. He just felt concerned.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked softly.

Sirius scoffed. "My best friend since childhood just betrayed me to my worst enemy. No, I'm not okay."

"I'm sorry," Remus replied.

"Do you have any idea what that feels like? To have your entire world shift under your feet?"

"Yes," Remus answered without hesitation. "Yes, I do."

Sirius just looked at him. Remus tried to find guilt in his eyes, but he couldn't find a thing. "Well, I guess you do."

They were quiet for a moment, Sirius turning to face away from the other boy, but Remus couldn't stand it. "So that's it then?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius said, almost lazily.